"You my dear need to blog and SOOOOoooonnnn… the pent up words in your head are leaking out and you need to let them flow before you explode."

I've been told.

:)

I'm so busy I can't even believe I've given in to the temptation - but have I mentioned I find it practically impossible to say 'no' to Brian? *sigh* Well I do.

I did a google images search for 'busy blue' and found the above image. I like it a lot. It's fun. And blue.

Work is insane - but there's nothing new about that.

Turning 25 on Sunday, which is exciting. I'll get access to my inheritance, so I can finally start paying off my mortgage a little quicker. Pay off my car loan, buy a computer so I can make blog updates at HOME (what a concept)...

I am having trouble concentrating today, for unknown reasons. I am feeling nostalgic. I keep thinking about my past, my early life, and why things went the way they did, good or bad. I am thinking about the people I grew up around, the people who influenced who I am and how I think.

Ahahaha... And apparently I'm feeling reeeally self-conscious too. I have spent a ridiculous amount of time typing and deleting. Typing and deleting. For some reason I can't seem to say what I want.

I've been feeling neglectful of my creative side. When's the last time I created anything that I was proud of? I feel like I should paint, I should draw. I should write. I've started to get back my interest in photography, but my film camera is frustrating me. I want digital. But not a point-and-shoot, either. Except maybe for Burningman.

I'm wondering if I should look into some kind of night-classes. Likely painting, figure-drawing, something like that... But then again, this is the wrong time of year for it. When spring hits, I'm going to want to be outside.

So then I think I'll just wait until fall - but then in the fall I'm going to be taking career-related night classes. Corrosion stuff, through NACE. And I don't really want to jump into too much at once, because we all know I have a habit of committing to TOO much, freaking out, and quitting everything.

I feel too busy to be inspired... But then days like this happen, where the inspiration tries to take over. It won't let me focus on what I NEED to be focusing on, but I can't really create either, because I refuse to let go entirely of my practical need to WORK.

I feel like rambling on here should help to release some of the creative tension I have inside me - but then I know it won't do much. How creative is blogging REALLY? Not very. I can write, I can ramble. But it's obviously not without its limits.

Whatever.

Okay, I'm getting frustrated at the fact that the closest thing I have to a creative outlet isn't close enough at the moment, so I'm going to do my best to shut that part of my brain off again, and WORK. I can be creative later. I hope. I only have like an hour and a half left before my day is done anyway - I'll cram as much work as I can into that time. And of course just because I am the way I am, I KNOW that once it's time for me to leave, I'll be so immersed in my work I won't wanna. Aaahahaha.

Ciao for now...

Fly-By-Updates?

So, I know I haven't been around for a while - things have been a little craaaazy. I'm still busy enough that I reeeeally shouldn't be posting this, but I'm feeling neglectful.

- Work is still really busy, but fun - challenging, exciting, a little scary. I'm about to start spending A LOT of my time in the field. I haven't done much field-travel yet, so it's intimidating, but really exciting - and good for my career in general. Attended a conference last week in Canmore, gave my presentation, and it went okay. Could have been better, could have been worse. I got lots of really positive feedback on it, but that might be just because a lot of them knew how nervous I was.

- Brian came to Canmore on the evening after my presentation. Brought a bottle of wine (mmm, Malbec...) and a loaf of freshly-baked bread (mmm, Rye...). After dinner with my group (and some of their wives), Brian and I went and sat in the hot tub, under the falling snow - very nice. Had great plans for the king-sized bed, too - but were so exhausted we fell asleep pretty quickly. Ahaha. Drove back to Calgary the next morning, and went back to work that afternoon. A very nice little mid-week-vaction.

- Brian's company had a foosball tournament on Friday evening, which was a lot of fun. Brian made it to the fourth round, which was pretty good - but somehow he had to play this one guy twice, who's absolutely INSANE. When he scores, you don't even see it, you just here the 'cha-lunk' as the score is made. Someone wondered where that amazing wrist action came from, and as I thought it, someone else said out-loud - He's a lonely, lonely, man... Ahaha...

- After the foosball tournament, Brian and I went to Edmonton. Yes, we arrived there at 11:30pm. Not much traffic to battle, at least. We went up there to visit Brian's best friend Trevor, and his wife Michele, and their two ADORABLE children Kaden (2yrs) and Isabelle (3mos).

- On Saturday I met another of Brian's friends (from like grade 8), and he showed me old year books. And I laughed. But in a completely loving way, of course. Actually, creepily enough, he looked A LOT like my first-ever boyfriend, Mike. I said it was the blond hair and glasses, and he was like "leave me alone, those glasses were TOTALLY the style at the time... And Fort St. John was a little behind the times..." which doesn't say much for Mike, considering he wore them like 8 years later... Hrm...

- Saturday afternoon/evening, I gave-in to my maternal instincts completely, and obsessed over Isabelle. I cooed at her and carried her around and cuddled her as much as I possibly could. It's so bizarre, the effect a baby can have on someone. I mean, they're just warm, soft, little people - but there is SO MUCH MAGIC in an infant. Maybe it's not everyone, maybe it's just me. But I can't get over the feeling of it. I don't have many babies in my life, so I get really excited when I do get access to one. I played with Kaden too - he's the most adorable, energetic, little blonde 2-year-old boy in the world. Seriously. We played with green playdough. And Brian taught him how to say kumquat. Ahahaha. So, I know maternal feelings go in waves, but holy crap, this weekend brought mine up to a serious level of "I want a family, dammit!" Ahahaha. Don't worry, I won't do anything sudden or stupid. But it can't hurt to dream of future possibilities, right? *sigh*

- On Sunday morning we came back to Calgary in time (okay, a little late) for my first-ever flickrmeet. This is a meeting that happens once a month in Calgary (and probably other cities) between local photographers who post their work on www.flickr.com. They seem to chose some different, random setting each time around, and this month they rented a bowling alley. There was some talk of formal wear, and then some people had some other ideas, but it seemed pretty open-to-interpretation. So I wore my favorite get-up, my corset (custom made for me when I was 30-40 lbs heavier - I should get it altered, but for now it just tightens all-the-way) and tutu (as seen above). We found Brian a white linen leisure suit and a hat with a feather in it. We had a lot of fun, and there were a lot of great photos taken. Due to NO TIME whatsoever, neither Brian nor I have any of our photos from the event posted yet, but if you want to see some of the amazing photos from other participants, go here.

Great. I did it again. Intended to spend 5 minutes on short but to-the-point updates, and wound up once again with a full-on blog entry. Bah. Why stop now?

- Incase you haven't had your fill of couple cuteness lately, head on over to www.sunmoonspacetime.blogspot.com, also on my links list. Not much there yet, but stay tuned...

- Got back in contact with a couple of old friends last week, which was nice. Always exciting when old, lost, connections are found again.

- Coming-up? Valentine's day tomorrow. Kinda stressful, I have to admit. I've never really had a Valentine's day with anyone truly amazing before. And Brian and I tend to be so cute and starry-eyed all the time, how do we get MORE romantic for Valentine's Day? So part of me thinks, do we really need this one particular day to be all lovey-dovey? No. But at the same time, there's this feeling of "should", or something. Ya know?

- I think I'm going snowboarding this weekend. That's exciting. Haven't been yet this year.

- My birthday's in a little under two weeks. Woo!

- Got a new and exciting light fixture for my stairwell. It's Chandelier-ish. Dark metal and glass and curves and bubbles and such.

- Reeeeeeally should get back to work. I MAY be going down to Turner Valley tomorrow afternoon, which means I SHOULD be doing an extra afternoon's worth of work today... Hrm...

I'll try not to be so long before I post again, but I make no promises - things are insane, and although blogging SHOULD be at the very top of my priority list above all, strangely it's not...