"You my dear need to blog and SOOOOoooonnnn… the pent up words in your head are leaking out and you need to let them flow before you explode."

I've been told.

:)

I'm so busy I can't even believe I've given in to the temptation - but have I mentioned I find it practically impossible to say 'no' to Brian? *sigh* Well I do.

I did a google images search for 'busy blue' and found the above image. I like it a lot. It's fun. And blue.

Work is insane - but there's nothing new about that.

Turning 25 on Sunday, which is exciting. I'll get access to my inheritance, so I can finally start paying off my mortgage a little quicker. Pay off my car loan, buy a computer so I can make blog updates at HOME (what a concept)...

I am having trouble concentrating today, for unknown reasons. I am feeling nostalgic. I keep thinking about my past, my early life, and why things went the way they did, good or bad. I am thinking about the people I grew up around, the people who influenced who I am and how I think.

Ahahaha... And apparently I'm feeling reeeally self-conscious too. I have spent a ridiculous amount of time typing and deleting. Typing and deleting. For some reason I can't seem to say what I want.

I've been feeling neglectful of my creative side. When's the last time I created anything that I was proud of? I feel like I should paint, I should draw. I should write. I've started to get back my interest in photography, but my film camera is frustrating me. I want digital. But not a point-and-shoot, either. Except maybe for Burningman.

I'm wondering if I should look into some kind of night-classes. Likely painting, figure-drawing, something like that... But then again, this is the wrong time of year for it. When spring hits, I'm going to want to be outside.

So then I think I'll just wait until fall - but then in the fall I'm going to be taking career-related night classes. Corrosion stuff, through NACE. And I don't really want to jump into too much at once, because we all know I have a habit of committing to TOO much, freaking out, and quitting everything.

I feel too busy to be inspired... But then days like this happen, where the inspiration tries to take over. It won't let me focus on what I NEED to be focusing on, but I can't really create either, because I refuse to let go entirely of my practical need to WORK.

I feel like rambling on here should help to release some of the creative tension I have inside me - but then I know it won't do much. How creative is blogging REALLY? Not very. I can write, I can ramble. But it's obviously not without its limits.

Whatever.

Okay, I'm getting frustrated at the fact that the closest thing I have to a creative outlet isn't close enough at the moment, so I'm going to do my best to shut that part of my brain off again, and WORK. I can be creative later. I hope. I only have like an hour and a half left before my day is done anyway - I'll cram as much work as I can into that time. And of course just because I am the way I am, I KNOW that once it's time for me to leave, I'll be so immersed in my work I won't wanna. Aaahahaha.

Ciao for now...