Weekend in Banff - March 2009

Love, originally uploaded by Brian U.

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Continuing

Adventure, originally uploaded by Blue I'x.

Adventure - that's what it's all about right? Be brave, explore, fall down, get hurt, learn, get up, do it all over again. Right? That's the message I'm recieving from the universe recently, anyway. Just do. Be. Make it happen. It doesn't matter if you don't want to, it doesn't matter if you are afraid. Just get up every morning, put one foot in front of the other. Over and over again.

I've been dreaming two major themes lately: Babies and Italy.

The babies are rarely my own. They are other peoples' babies, but I am holding them, caring for them, in a couple cases even raising them. This likely comes from the fact that I have a couple pregnant friends, and I CAN'T WAIT to meet their new little people!

The Italy dreams are vivid and colorful. I am dreaming over and over again about visiting or living in Italy. Generally when I have these dreams I spend the next day completely obsessed with how I could actually go about moving to Italy. But I lucklily have people around me in my life to talk some sense into me. Until next time I dream it.

Brian and I are taking tomorrow off work, and spending the weekend in Banff. We're staying at a fancy hotel, and plan to have some outdoor adventures, and we'll definitely visit the hot springs, and maybe even take advantage of spa packages at our hotel. Also knowing us, and our love of tasty things, I'm sure we'll have some great meals too.

We used to embark on random little adventures at least monthly, even if it was just driving around Southern Alberta taking pictures and looking for abandoned stuff. Since our trip to Europe in the fall, our only trip was Vancouver over Christmas - which was a little stressful for a few reasons. We are in desparate need of an escape from Calgary, even if it's just a short one.

Today is quiet inside me, because one of Brian's co-workers committed suicide this week. I don't think I ever met him, but it shocked me all the same. Even from a distance, I am so sorry about this. For everyone who was in his life, I hurt for them, and hate that they have to go through the experience of losing him like this. Apparently he had two daughters. I can't even begin to imagine what they are going through. I think they are in their teens. I know what it is like to suddenly lose a parent too soon, but not to suicide. I'm sure it's an entirely different thing, and... Just an unimaginable tragedy.

Music has been very powerful for me lately - I've gone in phases with it all my life, but at its peak, music can be an amazingly strong force in me. I have to be careful with it though, because my favorite music has always been a little on the depressing/emotional side, and it can change my mood in the span of a song - or even a verse. In late January/early February I was afraid to listen to music for fear of what I might hear in it. I've been back to music in the past month or so now, and it absolutely helps me be strong or to understand how things are - but yes, sometimes I'll hear just the wrong song at just the wrong moment, and be completely crushed by the weight of it.

Something I'm finding really fascinating about music these days is how any one song can be taken in SO many different ways. When I was about 15 or 16 I listened to Sarah McLachlan's "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" over and over and over again for months, and I felt like I understood every word, as though every song on it was written almost directly for me. It helped me through a lot of emotional turmoil, and has always remained an important album for me - And I've noticed that in the past month or so, when I hear songs from that album, I feel like I'm hearing some of them for the first time. Hearing them from different angles, new points-of-view - they are completely new songs.

Ha - and as I'm typing this, listening to my iPod (2500 songs on random), Fear just came on - from the above mentioned album. This song used to move me to tears. It still gives me goosebumps. Woo - yup, goosebumps all up and down me.

I am so deeply in love with music right now. Is there anything more spectacular?

So, in that vein - I've added a Last.fm widget to my blog - it automatically lists the top 7 artists I've listened to in the past week. Apparently I've listened to 3 times as much Regina Spektor as anyone else this week. I believe it.

Regina Spektor is someone I've only recently discovered. I know years ago I had enough people recomend her to me that I searched her out online, but never purchased any of her music. Brian just so happens to have a lot of her music, and I've been listening to her a lot lately. I absolutely love her style. It seems so cute, somehow. Cute, and unapologetic. I'd love to see her live, I feel like it would be difficult not to grin like a fool the whole time. There is humor, but also darkness. She is somehow realistic/blunt but also light-hearted. You can tell she is absolutely brilliant, and that goes a long way in winning my respect.

Speaking of live shows, I'm hoping to see No Doubt either in Calgary or Vancouver when they're around in July. No Doubt was another of my ABSOLUTE favorites when I was in my teens, and I never got to see them live. I'm not a huge fan of Gwen Stefani's solo stuff - it's a little too dance/pop/whatever for my tastes. So I'm really excited that No Doubt is on tour, and perhaps I can see them now, 10 years after I originally fell in love with them.