Icy Blue

Brrrrrrr... It is FREEZING here. This morning it was -29 WITHOUT windchill. That's insane. But at least the sun is suppose to come out tomorrow - And I heard -1 on Thursday. Yaaaaaay!

I've been wearing skirts AT work, but wearing snowpants TO work. I am happy to have enough warm clothes to keep me from freezing on my commute. I mean, I could definitely go for a toque that doesn't make my forehead itchy, but really - if an itchy forehead is my biggest complaint in -29, I figure I'm doing pretty good.

My car has been starting, and not complaining too much. I never plugged it in last year, and didn't have any problems, but it was brand new AND (I think) a mild winter. So maybe I should start plugging it in this year... Maybe. Hey Joshamabosh - Do you plug your car in?

Today's a good day, because even though I'm exhausted, my brain still seems to be functioning at a decent level. I solved a few problems this morning that I thought were going to be HUGE issues. So... Hooray! Of course, I've always found that when it comes to regulatory bodies, when you fix one problem a few more usually pop up.

I'm getting braver at work though, too - which helps. There's a great deal of communication with the field, and mostly I just deal with the pretty high-level positions (so that I only need to contact 7 district superintendants, rather than 130 field operators). So there's been this shyness in me like, "This guy has been working with these pipelines for 20 years. Why the Hell should he give the time of day to some 24-year-old in Calgary, who's just learning about it all?" but I'm starting to find some strength in my voice.

It was really nerve-wracking at first, but I've found a lot of the field guys to be really helpful. Some of them still aren't responding well, but they got a HUGE amount of work to do, with a pretty short deadline - and my name was on it, so that's to be expected. I'm starting to feel better about telling them what to do, though. I spoke to one of the other AIAs (Asset Integrity Advisors) - A guy who's been doing this for YEARS. I explained to him that I realize I need to make sure these guys are following regulations, but when they tell me "this is the way it is" and it doesn't comply with the board, do I really have the authority to tell the guy to go back out there, and redo the operation correctly? Turns out I do. Sweeeeeeet. And in the few cases where I have had to stand my ground and say "Sorry, but you're mistaken. The regulations say this, therefore...", I've found I haven't had my head bitten off yet. Most guys are like, "Really? I interpretted that differently - but we'll go look at it again, and make it compliant."

Nice.

I am ridiculously busy, and working long hours - But I love it. I am feeling so much more appreciated, so much more... Important? I dunno. I love the responsibility, I love how hard I have to work. I love that I'm learning, and that as I'm learning I have to apply that new knowledge almost immediately.

Although, I will say... I found out something interesting yesterday. One of the other large oil companies (trying not to mention names - I don't know about liabilities, ya know?) is using the same database for their pipelines as we will be. We're still in the stages of gathering all the information to put INTO the database, and this other company has actually been using it for a year or so now. What's interesting is that they have 7 of me. My position is actually a 'team' or department over there. Ahahahahaaa... I joked that I was definitely worth 7 of "their" employees any day. Someone suggested my boss multiply my salary by 7. That'd be nice, though not terribly realistic.

Perhaps (slightly) more realistically, I had a co-worker pull me aside and say, "Y'know - if you were to request a raise, even a substantial one, they would be really hard-pressed not to give it to you. Seriously - tell them the new number, or you'll walk. You'll see. They can't afford to lose you."
Aaaaah, why do people put these thoughts in my head? The truth is, I really can't see myself giving my boss an ultimatum like that. I think ultimatums are very rarely called for. A little over-dramatic and self-centered or something... But a girl can dream can't she?

Truth is, I love my job and although I could always use a higher salary (couldn't we all), I do realize that I make a lot more than most people my age, with my level of education. So I really can't bitch. Yes, I'm house-poor, but that will all change in a mere 3 months.

My little sister is coming over to my house for dinner tonight, and I'm really excited. I haven't seen her in FAR too long (a month? Two?), and she hasn't been to my house in almost a year. She's bringing over spaghetti, and I'm supplying the salad and garlic toast. Sounds good to me! The only thing that kinda sucks is that my roommate wants to meet her, but it just so happens that he's going to see a play tonight. Bad timing? I'd say so. But that's okay, because I intend to have Brianne over more often in the future, so I'm sure they'll run into eachother eventually.

Aaaaaalright, well it's time for me to finish this up and head back to work. Ciao, Bellas.

I.Hate.Calgary.Transit.

Somebody please tell the bigwigs at The City of Calgary, that we have a serious transportation issue.

I recently said something to my dad about "fucking transit..." and he was like, "What? It's not THAT bad." and I argued that yes, it is far worse than "that bad". He couldn't understand why, because he used to take the train to work for years. He says he loved it. He went on to explain how nice it is to just sit and read all the way to work...

I was like, "Sit? I don't even remember the last time I was able to sit on the c-train." he hasn't ridden the train in 20 years, so in his mind it's the same as it always has been. And I wonder if that's the problem. I wonder if all the big decision-makers at The City of Calgary think the train is the same as it was when they rode it 20 years ago.

I would like to see all the people who have a hand in calgary transit decision-making ride the train to and from work for a month. Hell, even a week would probably be long enough to drive them to some sort of realization.

I don't really care that much if I get to sit down anymore - it's at the point where I automatically assume I won't. Sometimes it makes me angry if I'm feeling sick or dizzy, but again - I realize I'm likely not the only one standing on the train who is feeling sick or dizzy. I can usually tell myself someone else is suffering more than I am, so then I feel sorry for them, rather than myself. And of course if I'm not focusing on my own pain/discomfort, it lessens.

But. In the past two or three months, I have noticed a pattern emerging that really bothers me. In the mornings when I am waiting for the train, I very rarely can get on the first train that goes by. Usually I can get onto the second one, but sometimes it's the third - and occaisionally I can't get on until the 4th one.

This pisses me off. Do I have to start planning to be at the train station half an hour earlier, just to make my way to the front of the crowd? How far is this going to go before something is done about it?

I've heard the excuse that they can't add more cars to the trains because the platforms aren't big enough. Okay. Fine. But what about running more trains? Apparently they don't run all the trains all the time - Just enough for their little schedule. How many people have to crowd onto a platform before people start falling off in front of trains? Would that do it? Would that make them change something? At what point does the crowd IN the train become a safety hazard? If the train counted as a building, the fire code would NOT allow that many people in. So why is that density of people considered more dangerous in a stationary building than a moving train?

I really, truly, would love answers to these questions. This is not just a blind rant, this is really an issue that truly bothers me, and I would REALLY like to understand what is or is not being done, and why. I understand that this city is growing at a ridiculous rate, but it was evident years ago that our transit system wasn't going to cut it.

Arg. Whatever. If anyone has any info on any aspect of this situation, I would really like to be better informed about it. I think if I better understood the entire situation, I would be less angry about it. And there HAS to be a reason somewhere, right?

Quick Bit...

So, I promised an update on Friday - And that is what this is. Not much of one, mind you - I have a meeting to get to in 10 minutes.

This week has been a pretty good one, but still soooooo busy with work. I can't believe next Thursday is the last day of November - I am SO not ready for December, in any way, shape, or form.

Ah, well. I'm sure I'm not the only one.

This weekend I may have to come into work, to get some extra stuff done before Monday - But if I don't come to work, then my plan is to sleep aaaaaaall weekend. And YOU can't stop me.

:)

I loved this painting - Found it via Moco Loco Art. It's part of a series the artist (Gage Opdenbrouwer) calls "strangers". Good stuff, if you ask me.

Alright, well - I said it was going to be a short post, and it is. So there. Have good weekends, all.

Monday Monday Monday...

Monday today... A ridiculously tired Monday at that. My own stupid fault, though - I stayed up too late last night because for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to start baking cookies at 11pm.

Ginger Snaps made from scratch - and they turned out PERFECTLY. You know, where they're slightly crunchy on the outside, and all soft and chewy on the inside? Wooooo, baby. So it was nice to be able to bring some of them in for my early morning meetings today. They were appreciated. Yay! So, as always, a successful attempt makes it far more likely that I'll make further attempts in the future.

My roomie and I pulled out all my cookbooks last night (strangely I have a rather extensive collection), and we've found DOZENS of delicious-sounding recipes we want to try. We're planning to try one or two new ones per week. Yum yum!

My weekend was really good all around, I've gotta say. Neil was working for most of the weekend, to make some extra cash - so I had the house to myself for a while.

On Saturday morning I did some little bits of random tidying, some laundry, took a bunch of donations to Good Will, and a load of recycling (cans, boxes, paper). Around one, my dad and my aunty Kathy came over, and we sat and chatted and drank tea and all that good stuff. I don't get to see Kathy all that much so it was REALLY great to get some time in with her.

I may go visit her at some point in the next few months too. I have about $167 Westjet credit that I've got to use by February. I don't travel much, so I'm not sure where I'll use it, but perhaps I'll take a little weekend trip out to Vernon...

Although I'll also be the first to admit that I don't really see a "good time" for me to be travelling in the next few months... Whatever.

Sunday was far more normal in terms of my average weekend - I slept, I watched TV, I read...

Oh, you know what else I did, to take advantage of the empty house??? I played piano for like an hour! It has been SUCH a long time since I've sat down at my piano, it felt SO GOOD!!! My problem is mostly that I have trouble playing in front of people. It's always been that way, ever since I was a little kid. My hands just start trembling as soon as I think I'm "performing". So I used to play around with it fairly frequently - about a half hour 2 or 3 times a week, but since I've had people living with me, my poor piano has only been collecting dust... I was actually surprised that I could stilll play a few songs after not touching them in months... Woo!

Actually, since mine and Neil's work hours differ, I do have an hour or two in the evening before he gets home. Maybe I should add piano practicing onto the list of stuff I do during that time...

Yup. Just ramblin'.

Looks like I'm going to be getting a couple of assistants for a while in the new year. They'll be starting right away in January, and they'll be helping me out until the workload subsides a little bit - probably 2 or 3 months. This is exciting for a few reasons. One, my workload is insane. Right now the project is in a place where I can't really split it up, but in January I'll have tasks I can delegate. So right now I'm just working my ass off to get to the next phase of this thing - hopefully year end (crossing my fingers...). Other than the workload, this is a good thing in terms of my career development. Apparently these two will be reporting to me - Which rocks. I've never had anyone report to me. I mean, way back in my filing days, I got a student to help with the workload, but she didn't really report to me - she was just extra hands and eyes, ya know? But with these two, I will actually have a leadership role with them. In the org chart - They are under me!!! Mwaaaah.

Don't get me wrong - I totally get that it's not a big deal for a permanent employee to call in a third-party contractor, and to be "in charge" of that person, but still... It's just exciting, okay? Leave me alone.

This is likely my last post until Friday, because I can only really do this on my lunch hour, and my next three are full:

Tuesday - Lunch 'n' Learn on the new K60 Sleeve (very exciting, trust me)

Wednesday - Lunch 'n' Learn on environment noise control (something that I don't really deal with directly, but it could be interesting, nonetheless).

Thursday - Lunch with Katherine! Wooooooo! Good stuff.

It's also Taryn's birthday on Thursday, and I hope she has lunch plans with her direct co-workers. Also, Sandra is in town on Thursday and Friday, and so I'll need to give her my full attention whenever she happens to drop by. Yup.

So I may have time on Friday to post another little update... Tah 'till then!

Circular Beauty

Is this not one of the most fascinating pics you've seen in a long time? I fall in love with different images almost daily, but this is insane. I want to blow this up and put it on my roof or something. Okay, so that doesn't make a lot of sense. My train of thought was this:

I tend to adore really big artwork. So big in fact, that it wouldn't really fit anywhere in my house - except maybe up on the roof. So everytime I find new artwork that I love, I think about doubling its size and putting it on my roof.

What? I never once claimed my trains of thought made any practical sense...

It's been a busy, busy day today. I was in early early early this morning, to prepare for a 4-hour meeting, which ran from 8 to 12. Worked through lunch, preparing for a one o'clock meeting. At 2, I got out of that meeting and had to run over to the EUB offices to pick up some data they'd pulled for me. Got back around 2:30, in time to prep. for my 3:00!!! That one ran until almost 5, and now I'm spent. Got back to my office, returned some calls, etc... But was only able to leave voicemails of course, because no one still exists at 5pm on a Friday.

Except me. And why am I still here? Because.

I'm having a family dinner tonight at 6:30. I want to go straight there from work, because if I go home first I'll just want to curl up in the dark and say screw it. And I shouldn't. I'm actually quite excited about this dinner, because Tarah won't be there. I actually really love my family where Tarah isn't involved. But add her into the mix and I'll pass, thanks.

So... Yeah, I'm just killing time now. I was planning on working right up until it's time to leave, but a lot of my stuff is waiting on other people right now. I can't really do much until Monday, when there are people around again. Plus, I was supposed to meet with my boss this afternoon after our 3:00 meeting, but it went so long we had to postpone our meeting until Monday - and so I can't really act on some of this stuff before I get his approval on it.

This weekend is cool:
- Tonight I get to see some relatives I haven't seen in a long time, and I don't have to put up with the one I can't handle.
- Tomorrow my roomie is working some overtime, which means I get the house to myself aaaall day long. Don't know what I'll do with that time yet, but I'm sure I'll come up with something fantastic.
- Most weekends I head home thinking, "Uuuggghhh... I should clean my house this weekend..." but my house is actually currently so clean and tidy from top to bottom, I honestly have no cleaning to do this weekend. I'd forgotten what such a thing feels like! And daaaaamn is it nice to exist in neatness and cleanliness. I also find the neater and cleaner it gets, the easier it is to keep it that way. I suppose it's just a pattern, a cycle, like anything else in the world.

Next week work is crazy, but good - we're finally making some serious headway on this project that's been stalled for like a year. I also have a couple of lunch 'n' learns to attend - noise control, and the new K-60 sleeve. Sound fun? Totally.

It's also my friend Taryn's birthday next Thursday - she's turning 28. And Sandra (ex coworker) is back in town next week too, so I'll get to see her at some point too, which is awesome.

Hm... Okay, well - I have like 3 more work-related e-mails to respond to, and then I'm going to head out for supper.

Ciao, lovelies. I hope you all have amazing weekends.

Random November 16th Nothings

First off, thanks to Kay O. Sweaver for the use of this amazing image. I have no idea what it is, and in his flickr album he dares people to guess what it is. Some people have made guesses, but he hasn't given us the real answer yet. My best guess is maybe a photoshopped cloud? It screamed 'bluishness' to me, so I had to put it up. Anyway, he is a good friend of mine, and an incredible photographer. So there.

No post yesterday because I was at a lunch 'n' learn on Pressure Release Valves. I swear it was more interesting than it sounds. I'm really enjoying the learning curve that came with my new job. I've been reading textbooks, attending seminars, and questioning my co-workers on random little bits, here and there. They often draw me little diagrams (hooray for visual learners!), and I have them up all over my walls in my office. It has also gotten me back into reading quite a bit, which makes me happy.

I have always loved books so much, but I hadn't been reading lately - too much other stuff going on around home. But now that I have some peace and quiet again, I'm reading again, and I love it. Even if I'm only reading about pipelines. I'm still really enjoying it. I'm reading on the train to and from work, and then for another hour or two before bed each night. I look forward to finishing my current pipeline text, and perhaps moving on to something a little more exciting? Maybe.

I actually did read a fiction novel a few weeks ago - Wasteland, by Francesca Lia Block. I have all her books, but hadn't read this one yet. It was pretty intense. REALLY well written, but quite a viscious edge to it. Anyone who knows Francesca Lia Block's style of writing can probably understand - Gorgeous and dark and magic and terrible, sweet and sparkly, but sharp and venomous all at the same time. The story itself was tragic: a brother and sister fall in love, and spend years trying to deny it, trying to feel attracted to other people, trying to deny their bond. Eventually it winds up being too much, and the brother commits suicide. The story is told from the point of view of the sister, after his death. Her pain, her guilt, her torment. Towards the end of the story, she discovers that her brother was adopted (of course). What'd I tell you? Twisted? Yup.

I've been thinking about Joyce Carol Oates' books lately, and I'm thinking maybe my next read will be something of hers. Maybe Blonde (biography of Marilyn Monroe), or I might reread Dark Water. Actually. I'm most likely just to go to the library and look at all her books, and pick one when they're all in front of me. She does have a couple shelves to herself.

Y'know who else I'd like to read again? Graham Joyce. He was the author of four of my favorite books: Toothfairy, Dark Sister, Requiem, Indigo. They are all dark and mystical and spiritual and fascinating. I found each one of these books IMPOSSIBLE to put down. So maybe I should read the rest of his stuff, hey?

Neil and I are currently watching Carnivale on DVD, which I adore. I had actually thought that I'd seen the whole series, but we just started on season 2, and I haven't seen any of it! So that's pretty exciting - A whole season off Carnivale that I haven't seen?!?!?!?!? Awesome. Anyone who hasn't seen this show, I definitely recommend it. Especially you artsy types. You know who you are.

My Aunty Kathy is in town this week, which is reeeally exciting. I adore her, but only get to see her once every year or two. We're having dinner tomorrow night (Me, my little sister, my dad, my aunt, my dad's aunt and uncle and cousin), which'll be nice. I don't know where we're going yet, but it'll probably be Leo Fu's. It's the favorite chinese food restaurant of the oldest in our group (Shirl and Ed, in their late 80's). Then at some point over the next week or so, I'll have Kathy over to my place for tea and conversation. The last time she was in Calgary was for my mom's funeral, so she hasn't even seen my house yet.

Aaaaalrighty-roo. I took a late lunch today, but it's time for me to get back to it.

Ciao.

Berserkers

Savage Norse soldiers from the middle ages who, it is said, went into battle naked. Hence, "going berserk." So to truly go berserk, you should take off your pants.

Greetings on the 14th...

Just thought I'd stop by and say hello.

I had a really good weekend - got lots done. I always feel better about my weekends when I've gotten something done. This weekend I set up my personal filing system, and spent hours filing stuff away. It feels SO good. To go from random boxes of assorted paper in haphazard heaps, to a neat and tidy filing system - Aaaaaah. Audit me now, fuckers!!!

Also, my roommate and I watched Karla. Holy crap. Has anyone else out there seen this movie? Talk about intense! It was amazingly good, but so creepy! Laura Prepon did SUCH a fantastic job, I reeeeeally hope her career starts to take off one of these days. Karla proved to me that Laura is an amazingly talented actress. But seriously - If you are going to watch it, be sure you can focus all your attention on it, because it deserves (and demands) all your focus.

I was surprised my roomie agreed to watch it with me actually, because in general he watches horror movies, but nothing about serial killers. And for whatever reason, I like stories about serial killers (especially the real ones), but couldn't care less about horror. For me, it's about realism. I can believe a story about some creepy guy going around doing terrible things to people. But I can not believe a story about zombies or monsters or superheros. But maybe that's just a personality difference. I prefer stories I can believe, and he prefers stories he can't believe. Although he does truly seem to believe that a zombie invasion could happen... But that's a different story.

Anywho, he enjoyed Karla just as much as I did, though it seemed to disturb him a little more than it did me. Anywho, he's now agreed to watch The Black Dahlia with me, which is super-exciting because I've been looking forward to that movie for MONTHS. Sweet...

What else? Oh yeah, had lunch with two of my nearest and dearest friends yesterday - Katherine and Josh. Hadn't seen either one of them in FAR too long, and it was really nice to catch up. Even if I did get scolded around my eating habits. But truthfully, I think I needed to hear it. I didn't realize how little I've been eating lately until I said it out loud. I am more aware now that I'm not getting enough calories in a day. I know I can't get back to normal overnight, but I'm making a conscious effort with it now.

I'm happy to report that I had half a package of oatmeal this morning, and at lunch I had 1/4 cup of corn, and 1/2 cup spaghetti with meat sauce. I do feel a little nauseous, but at least I'm not nauseous AND hungry. And this is WAY more than I've usually eaten by 1pm, so I have to expect that my body'll take some time to get used to normal amounts of food again.

I'm on the right track, though.

Okay, well - it's time for me to get back to work, I have a non-compliance response to write to the board. Woo!

Bright deep dark blues

Wow. Seriously, these colors make me want to get lost in them. Don't you just want to melt into them, and wander about in all the tints and shades? Down into the dark, up to the bright. I know it goes without saying, but I really am so obsessed with this color (these colors). Blue holds so much. It means so much, it IS so much. To me. I can find amazing things in blue.

I heard somewhere that as women get older, their ability to see intense blue lessens. What I read said that it doesn't matter what your eye-health is like in general, EVERY woman sees blue as less and less intense with age. That makes me terribly sad. And I wonder if already, blue used to be more brilliant to me. I know I'm always looking for the most intense shade of it that I can find, and I always wish it were a little brighter, a little darker, a little deeper. Perhaps every intense tone of blue I absorb is the brightest, deepest blue I'll ever see again. Hrm...

I'm in a reeeeeally good mood today. Work went well this week, I got a lot done. Accomplished more than I thought I would. More than my boss thought I would too, which is always a good thing. But at the same time I'm so happy the weekend is almost here!!! I have tons I want to get done around home this weekend, and I actually believe it will get done. How fantastic.

Alright, well - my boss just came along for an impromptu meeting for 20 minutes, and now it's one o'clock and time to be back on 'work time' - so I'd better get back to it.

I hope everyone has a fantastic weekend, and may your blues stay intense!

Quiet

Today, as a day, is quiet. At least in my little orb. I searched google images for "quiet", and this was the result that spoke to me the most. I find it pretty accurate for my mood today. Even the sorta scribbly hands clutching himself, like he's dizzy or hungry or worried.

I also really like the little yellow duck. Perhaps he's there to comfort the poor stickman. Maybe he's there as his friend - quietly chirping his friendly comforts. His coloring (bright yellow as opposed to the dull blue-greys) makes it seem to me that his "vibe" is different from the rest. Make sense? To me it looks like he's cozying-up, saying don't worry - I'm here. We can be quiet without being alone.

I like this a lot. It's just so... quiet. I seem to like quiet today. Probably partly because I'm so tired, and partly because I'm still not completely healthy. Most of my group is in the field today, and I think they're all taking tomorrow off. The end of the week draws near. This little man and duck feel familiar to me - like they understand me. I understand them.

Plus, it's blue. Ish.

Frost Curls...

This morning there was this incredible frost on my car - made me wish once again that I had the talent/equipment to take good photos. It was so curly, so intricate - and ALL over. There wasn't a spot on my car that wasn't curly-frozen. Beautiful. But difficult to scrape off.

Today is my cousin Jesse's birthday. He's turning 20. I know that's real exciting to y'all.

I don't really have anything interesting to say today, but I recently decided I should start taking a break from work during the lunch hour. I may try to post something each day, just to make it a habit.

I believe that's all I have to say. I hope everyone's having a good week - We're halfway through it!!!

Some extra bits...

My knees hate me. Today, in honour of the lovely weather outside, we got to take part in a fire drill. For myself, this included walking down 22 flights of stairs - in a pair of 3 inch heels. Woo! HARDCORE! Hardcooooooooore. Grrrrrrrrr... Check me out. Seriously.

In other news, Britney Spears filed for divorce from Kevin Federline today. I for one am proud of her. I've never been a Britney Spears fan by any stretch, but somehow I feel for her. I feel sorry for her in the sense that I would feel sorry for any young girl with two brand new babies, going through a divorce. People attack her like she's the only woman ever to have wound up in her situation - and that it all came out of sheer stupidity.

Truth is, she obviously fell in love. Most people make the wrong decisions where love is concerned, but she also had the entire world watching her, telling her what to do, judging her at every turn. Hell, if I were her, I probably would have tried to make things work with Kevin, just to prove the whole goddamn world wrong...

But in reality, a bad relationship is a bad relationship. For some reason, people don't know when to end bad relationships. Even once they realize their relationship is harmful, they tend to stick around for a while to see if it'll get better - but it never does. Until someone grows the balls to leave.

So bravo, Britney. Congratulations on having the balls to get out of a shitty relationship - with two babies in tow, and the entire world judging you. They'll call her weak - but I know that what she's done took strength.

Samhain...

Hello lovelies. Today is Samhain (pronounced sow-ANE). A lot of people just lump it in with Halloween - which does make sense, but technically speaking, Halloween falls according to the Gregorian calendar, and Samhain occurs according to the sky. And according to the sky, today is the day. The veil between the worlds is at its thinnest. Actually, it was this morning at 6:22 (my time).

Like any other Sabbat, I like to acknowledge it. I'll light some candles tonight (as if I don't light candles every night...), and talk to the moon a little bit.

To some people, Samhain is the new year - but I have trouble making that stick in my mind. It just doesn't FEEL like the end/beginning of the year.

I wore black today - my clothes are heavy, yet flowy at the same time. Perfectly Samhainesque.

Today is also the birthday of an old friend of mine. Dave Granger turns 26 today, and I hope he's having a wonderful birthday, wherever he is. We dated for a while in 2002, before he moved to Australia. We've spoken here and there since he got back, but never kept in touch. But somehow I still know his birthday - And I hope he's having a good one.

Also along the lines of old friends, I was contacted today by one. She and I used to be really close, but we fell away from eachother a few years ago. She moved to Europe to attend circus school (seriously), and I haven't heard from her in years. But she called today - she's in town. I'm slightly surprised by my reaction. I would like to return her call, and meet with her over a coffee or something. I felt really manipulated by her in the past, but part of me apparently still cares about her, and wouldn't mind catching-up for old-times' sake.

Actually, I was contacted by another old friend last week. This one was a girl I met at a bachelorette party 4 or 5 years ago. We were both drunk out of our minds at Outlaws, and flirting shamelessly with one-another. We decided we liked eachother, and exchanged phone numbers. We started hanging out after that, but we had different ideas about the whole situation. I really just liked hanging out with her, and thought of her as a new friend. But she saw me as a new bisexual friend - which (I've found) often implies that the friendship comes with a side of free sex. I tried to get the point across that I didn't want sex from her, but she just kept thinking we were about to get it on. We lost contact for like a year and a half, and then when we started talking again, she was obsessed with getting me to come join her and her boyfriend in bed. I didn't feel comfortable with that - so the contact went away again. We e-mail and/or phone eachother about once or twice a year, and I always cut it off again once it becomes clear that she still just wants to fuck.

Last week she sent me an e-mail saying that she "really really needs to talk to me". She's never had a NEED to talk to me before - So part of me thinks maybe it's important. But maybe she just used that wording so that I would call her, and she'd pick up and be like "Oh thank goodness you called - My boyfriend and I have been waiting for you to join us..."

*sigh* Not interested. I mean, she's a beautiful girl and all, but... I'm just way more straight than not. Every once in a while I try sleeping with women again, but it's rarely any good. I certainly find women in general to be beautiful creatures, but to actually get it on with someone, I'd prefer they had a penis.

Not to mention, she seems to want me to agree to this whole thing, before I ever even meet her boyfriend. Seriously - As if I would agree to have sex with someone I've never seen or met. What kind of a whore does that? Whatever.

Also, she used to know my roommate - so part of me wants to call her up just to tell her I'm living with an old friend of hers. I have no idea if she'd find that interesting or not. I don't think they were ever really close, but they knew eachother.

And then when I sit here contemplating calling up old friends I haven't seen in years, I think - waitaminute... Shouldn't I maybe call some of the people I'm still in contact with? I know they'd like to hear from me...

They will. I swear. I'll try.