I was sick last week. Getting mostly over the cold by now. Still some coughing and a headache, but nothing serious. Back to work tomorrow. I am stressed out about work. Like, serious knot-in-stomach stressed. Don't really know why, can't really explain it. I think I'll be fine, but what I think and feel are usually two separate things.
My birthday is this week. My 'family' birthday dinner worries me, as usual. Something else I can't logically explain.
My dreams have been vivid, which makes me glad. I love when my dreams get vivid and detailed. When the spin is good, they're like little mini vacations.
Speaking of mini vacations, B and I drove out to Banff last weekend, and Canmore today. Our tiny escapes are important for our psyches, but they also mean we ignore our home. It's tough to find the balance sometimes, between work, home, and escape.
I'm loving my drawing class. I will definitely be taking more classes in the fall. But I'm struggling with whether or not I should apply as a 'real' part-time student. Should I be taking classes I can get credits for? I mean, it would take ten or twenty years to actually obtain a degree, one or two classes at a time. And I'm worried about it cutting down my options. Would I need to choose a 'direction' right away? If I stick with the 'credit free' classes, I can take whichever class tickles my fancy each semester. I'll never have any 'credits' to show for it, but do I need them? I'll love the journey, regardless.
I'm just excited to feel like an artist again. I want to feed that side of me. Honestly, I want to give it more than I can afford to. I know I need to stay practical. But again, logic has nothing to do with what I feel.
I was digging through some old photos from our trip to Europe, and found this one. I took it at Montorosso, Italy. There is something in the look on my face here, my eyes, my mouth, I don't know... Something struck me.
And now, although I'm avoiding it, because it means the weekend is over and the week is about to start... I need to go to bed. It's a quarter past eleven, and I've got a BIG week ahead of me...
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Feb. 21.
Thursday, February 18, 2010
Dreams & Stuff.
They've been about travel lately, and water. But that's not new. I'd say 95% of my dreams are about travel, and largely involve water. Some vivid scenes of late:
Somewhere tropical, perhaps Jamaica. Stormy and wet, but warm and exotic. Buildings - rooftops and towers. A feeling of exploration, and discovery. A specific scene that I think was related to this dream...
I find a bench along a coastline, much like my 'Brandi Bench' (I have a little wooden bench since I was a baby, that has colorful puzzle pieces in it, that spell my name.) - Only it wasn't my name on it. At first I thought it was my sister's bench, but it didn't spell her name either. I spent some time trying to read it, trying to work out the puzzle to read what it said. Eventually I realized that it was Cyrillic. In actuality, it was this bench that taught me to spell my name. I wonder if this dream was my brain reaching back to that time, so long ago? Seeing the letters, and trying to fit them together into a word?
Last night I dreamed I was in Australia. I found a little creature that needed rescue. It was a weird little creature. It was about the size (and shape) of a softball. It was really round, and not furry. Its surface was skin, and it had big eyes, and cute features. When I found it, it was really dehydrated, and I scooped it up to help it. I was near a zoo, and so went there to see if they would help. I spent a long time wandering around in the zoo, looking at the animals... Specifically I remember a kitten enclosure. Ha-ha. I know. But they were cute. And there was a snake building, but I refused to go in. I told someone that snakes were the reason I didn't want to go to Australia in the first place, and they offered to show me some friendly ones. I declined. One other thing that I really vividly remembered from this portion of the dream was an underwater exhibit. It was like a huge auditorium, with a massive (like 5 stories high) u-shaped window into an underwater seascape. Coral reefs, and brightly colored fish. I was completely mesmerized by this, and only agreed to leave when I was reminded I had a creature to save. The zoo told me they couldn't help, but sent me to a place that would help. We (some friends I was with, though no one I actually know) piled into a van, and drove to a little strip mall, with a costume shop in it. We had to dress in costumes before we went in, but discovered that they did, indeed have a animal rescue shelter in the back. The costume shop was a fundraising front. They bought the little dehydrated softball creature from me, and promised to nurse it back to health. Out front in the parking lot, there was a guy with a really old, mostly falling-apart van. It was bright green, and the doors were in the front of the van. Don't ask me how that works, but in my dream it made sense and was totally AWESOME. The inside of the van was all covered in different shades of green fun-fur. It was old, and had certainly seen better days, but was very much loved. I had a conversation with the van owner, and said something about having only been to Australia a couple times, but only on short little day-trips.
And then I woke up.
I dunno man. My dream world can be fun sometimes.
In other news...
I've had a wicked cold for a week, and have been home from work. I think I'll make it into the office tomorrow though.
I've been neglecting my self-portraits. I can't decide if I should force myself back into it, or just cut and run.
I lost my virginity 10 years ago yesterday. TMI? Whatever, it's my blog.
I was just contacted by a once-very-close-friend I haven't seen in like 10 years. No connection to the previous bit.
I turn 28 in a week. My little sister turns 26 on the same day.
And I... Have very little else to report at this time.
Goodnight.
Somewhere tropical, perhaps Jamaica. Stormy and wet, but warm and exotic. Buildings - rooftops and towers. A feeling of exploration, and discovery. A specific scene that I think was related to this dream...
I find a bench along a coastline, much like my 'Brandi Bench' (I have a little wooden bench since I was a baby, that has colorful puzzle pieces in it, that spell my name.) - Only it wasn't my name on it. At first I thought it was my sister's bench, but it didn't spell her name either. I spent some time trying to read it, trying to work out the puzzle to read what it said. Eventually I realized that it was Cyrillic. In actuality, it was this bench that taught me to spell my name. I wonder if this dream was my brain reaching back to that time, so long ago? Seeing the letters, and trying to fit them together into a word?
Last night I dreamed I was in Australia. I found a little creature that needed rescue. It was a weird little creature. It was about the size (and shape) of a softball. It was really round, and not furry. Its surface was skin, and it had big eyes, and cute features. When I found it, it was really dehydrated, and I scooped it up to help it. I was near a zoo, and so went there to see if they would help. I spent a long time wandering around in the zoo, looking at the animals... Specifically I remember a kitten enclosure. Ha-ha. I know. But they were cute. And there was a snake building, but I refused to go in. I told someone that snakes were the reason I didn't want to go to Australia in the first place, and they offered to show me some friendly ones. I declined. One other thing that I really vividly remembered from this portion of the dream was an underwater exhibit. It was like a huge auditorium, with a massive (like 5 stories high) u-shaped window into an underwater seascape. Coral reefs, and brightly colored fish. I was completely mesmerized by this, and only agreed to leave when I was reminded I had a creature to save. The zoo told me they couldn't help, but sent me to a place that would help. We (some friends I was with, though no one I actually know) piled into a van, and drove to a little strip mall, with a costume shop in it. We had to dress in costumes before we went in, but discovered that they did, indeed have a animal rescue shelter in the back. The costume shop was a fundraising front. They bought the little dehydrated softball creature from me, and promised to nurse it back to health. Out front in the parking lot, there was a guy with a really old, mostly falling-apart van. It was bright green, and the doors were in the front of the van. Don't ask me how that works, but in my dream it made sense and was totally AWESOME. The inside of the van was all covered in different shades of green fun-fur. It was old, and had certainly seen better days, but was very much loved. I had a conversation with the van owner, and said something about having only been to Australia a couple times, but only on short little day-trips.
And then I woke up.
I dunno man. My dream world can be fun sometimes.
In other news...
I've had a wicked cold for a week, and have been home from work. I think I'll make it into the office tomorrow though.
I've been neglecting my self-portraits. I can't decide if I should force myself back into it, or just cut and run.
I lost my virginity 10 years ago yesterday. TMI? Whatever, it's my blog.
I was just contacted by a once-very-close-friend I haven't seen in like 10 years. No connection to the previous bit.
I turn 28 in a week. My little sister turns 26 on the same day.
And I... Have very little else to report at this time.
Goodnight.
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