Dream - Plane Crash

Over There, originally uploaded by Blue I'x.

I was in my front yard, and I saw a plane flying REALLY low over my house. It flew sharply upwards, around, and then crashed in front of my dad's house. It was a small plane. Long and skinny, but only room for about 3 people up front. The pilot ran away.

When I looked through the windows to see if anyone else was hurt, I saw a father and two children, badly burnt. Barely human anymore. There was a little girl and a little boy, and they had been sitting on their father's lap.

Much of this dream was just sadness, and shock. The scene of those burnt bodies was really brutal. I rarely dream such gruesome things. I don't know what makes it happen.

I think later in the dream my dad was taking the plane apart and trying to put it back together, but the overwhelming part of the dream was that little family, dead.

I woke up with a feeling that things aren't okay. People who don't deserve it are hurting and suffering. I felt a little afraid at the brutality of reality. Too delicate for it.

Due to a current thyroid imbalance, my emotions are heightened, and my control over them is weakened. My theory is that these dreams are coming from that, but then I wake up feeling so disturbed by the dreams, that I start each day upset, worried, afraid, wanting to run away and hide. I'm working on getting it all balanced out. One of these days.

Dream - Dad's Haunted House

Onion House, originally uploaded by Blue I'x.

Last night I dreamt that my dad bought an old abandoned house. The house was well-known as being haunted, and had been abandoned for decades. He fixed up the outside really nicely - a deck, a hot tub, etc. And put his lawfirm on the main floor.

But upstairs, it was falling apart at the seams. Pieces of the wall fell randomly, and dust shook down from the ceiling everytime someone walked. I could see through the floorboards to the main floor, and was worried for my dad's safety. I told him this, and he was not worried. He said, "Well obviously if I step on a floorboard that breaks, I just won't step there anymore."

My dad is very scientific, and does not even come close to believing in the supernatural. So I joked to him, that some people think his house is haunted, just because it's been abandoned for a while. He answered that yes, it is VERY haunted. I was amazed that he'd been convinced of the supernatural. I knew it MUST be haunted if he believed it. He said the ghosts bang on the walls and the ceiling. I heard some loud banging on the front porch, and he told me that was the ghosts. I was still skeptical, and went to investigate. I thought it must just be the cats. I looked around the corner, down the hall, and saw Spaces (Brian's cat). Then I felt a cat brush my leg, and that was Spaces also. I thought, "How can Spaces be in two places at once?" and then I looked around and found 3 more Spaces. That was my proof that the house was haunted. How could cats multiply if the house wasn't haunted???

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Mostly this dream was less stressful than the one the night before, but there was still tension, over my worry for my dad. Brian thinks that this dream is referring to my actual concern that my dad is making bad decisions - but I don't really know if it's his decisions I worry about. I can't really think of any bad decisions he's made that have really bothered me, but I DO know I worry about him a lot in general - his health, his safety, etc... That's probably where this came from.

And I've been dreaming about haunted houses a LOT lately. About a month ago I dreamt that Brian wanted us to buy a haunted house, and I kept trying to get used to it, but I kept getting scared and needing to escape. Hrm...

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Okay, that's my dream-post for today.

Dreaming...

Purple Pigeons, originally uploaded by Blue I'x.

At one point I intended to use this blog as a dream journal. I didn't stick to that for long, but today I find myself wanting to get last night's dream out of my head. And here I shall attempt to do so...

There was a guy - I don't know him in real life - who was upset. Sad, raging, hopeless. Somebody - a male authority to him, possibly a father, a mentor, or a boss - told him that nobody realized that he was "purple". This seemed to relate to some sort of emotion-ranking-system. Like, an emotion-scale or something. Purple was the most extremely dark/hopeless/suicidal color on the scale. No one realized he was there, but he was. And somehow, even after they figured out that he was "purple", they couldn't (or didn't, anyway) do anything about it.

I realized it was up to me to save him, to stop him from committing suicide. At some points I was PHYSICALLY fighting to keep him from throwing himself out the window, and sometimes I was just sitting on a couch with him, talking to him, trying to help him realize that he deserved to live.

At some point, I noticed the time - 1:22am. I realized that it was late, and I was going to be USELESS at work the next day, and worried I would get fired if I didn't get some sleep. But knew that this guy's life was more important than my getting sleep - and hoped my bosses would see it that way.

His family decided they didn't like me meddling in their business, and made it clear that they meant to harm me. A portion of my dream was spent trying to run from that family, but trying to protect the guy at the same time. Lots of hiding, running through hallways and doorways in a buildings I don't recognize.

Another portion of my dream (perhaps relating to my worry about being fired if I was too exhausted), I had like 3 bosses. One of them was my boss from when I worked at Stantec, and she was on the scary/intense side. In my dream, she told me that my job was going to require me to endure a rather invasive surgery. The surgery itself would take a couple days to complete. I don't know what the surgery was for, but my chance of survival was less than half. I called my dad about it, and he said "if that's what your company requires of you, then that's what you have to do. End of story." So I agreed to go through with it, but was terrified I wouldn't survive.

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Then I woke up, a little later than I should have, and felt intensely stressed-out.

I don't know who "guy" was - He was dark-haired, and possibly Italian or something. I don't think we were "involved" in any way in my dream, he was just someone I had to help. He wore sweatpants (navy blue) and no shirt.

The dream took place in a building that was dark, in shades of black/blue/green. I think at some point it was the family's home, but at some point it was an apartment building, where he lived, but his family didn't.

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I've been having really stressful dreams again lately, and so I thought that perhaps if I get conscious of them again, remember them, record them, etc, maybe I can see some patterns and work the bad ones out of my head. Maybe?

We'll see.

Any thoughts on possible symbolism/ideas/etc, is always much appreciated!

Cynthia

Cynthia, originally uploaded by Blue I'x.

A couple of years ago, there was a big creepy black spider living behind my side view mirror. It creeped me out for a few days, and I tried to lose him by driving fast. But when the wind picked up, he'd just crawl back behind the mirror, and be safe until I parked. Then he could come back out and work on his web a little more. Eventually I decided I had to stop letting him give me the creeps. So I named him. His name was Jack. I spoke to him, and started to even like him there - like my little car mascot or something. Mission accomplished. Eventually he went away, and I actually missed him. A few months later another little spider took his place, and her name was Suzie.

On our little Southern Alberta adventure a few weeks ago, Brian and I returned to the car at one point, to find this creature hanging out, admiring her reflection. She didn't stick around for long, but she did hang on long enough for us to take a few photos of her. I decided to name her Cynthia.