Date with Rob

Last night I went on a fantastic date. We met for coffee (okay, chai lattes), and were wrapped up in conversation and laughter until they closed at 10. For a first date, we were pretty comfortable with eachother, I think. We covered a great many topics, and that made me happy. I didn't feel like I had to censor myself, which is a really good sign in my mind.

I think we have a lot in common - similar thinking patterns and values. Quite often he'd talk about something, and I'd think "Wow - That's exactly how I feel about it".

And not only that, he's a gentleman. When we left the cafe, I noticed that he stopped just inside the door to wait for me to go through first. And then as he was walking me to my car, he offered me his jacket, because I didn't have mine and it was chilly out. I thanked him but declined (I'm not used to such things - It's amazingly sweet, it's just - surprising or something). And then half a block later, he gave it to me anyway. I didn't know what to say - All I could think of was "How are you single???". But I think I just giggled and thanked him instead.

It just feels so good to have gone out with someone I truly respect and admire. I really look forward to seeing him again.

:) Aaaand this is the best photo I could find of the cafe we went to, but we sat inside because it was a wee bit cold and rainy...

Weather

Today I'm wearing my gloomy-day outfit. Grey pants, blue and grey sweater. It's not that I'm feeling gloomy - It's just the weather. It's not even rainy, just... dim.

I don't think of it as a bad thing - I love weather. I love to notice it, to feel the changes. I love the variety. I love the wind and the rain and the sun and the snow. It's like a huge fantastic show that we're all a part of.

I love to watch the sky - It's always different than before.
I love how the rain feels - It's like the touch of some great diety.
I love listening to the wind - Like it carries secrets from everywhere it's been.

I even love feeling the cold bite in the air in the winter. I take it as a challenge - I can take it. Do your worst. Freeze my ass off, I can handle it!!! Bring it ON!!!! I feel brave as we are plunged into the cold and dark.

But we're not there yet. We don't have to brave winter yet. We still have time to exist outside with bare skin.

I can feel the season turning again, summer to autumn. Last week on the lake it was so bright and warm, I couldn't imagine the end of summer. But already, so soon - The leaves are barely starting to turn, and the mornings are chilly again. We'll need to start wearing our jackets again, and scraping frost from our windshields before work. The air will chill, and take on that smoky flavor.

Perhaps it goes back to being in school, but fall also reminds me of red sweaters and plaid. Fall makes me want to dress like a schoolgirl. And I likely will.

:) Okay, well - I'm just rambling along on my lunch hour, but it's almost time for me to get back to it.

Back from BC

Greetings! I have returned! Didja miss me? Does anyone even read this? Sweeeet.

My trip was fantastic. It was exactly what I needed in a lot of ways.

First of all, I was able to face my fear of the Shuswap. I was able to ride its surface without being terrified of its depths, and I was able to touch the water without being sickened by it. I was able to see it once again as amazing and beautiful, instead of just dark and deadly.

Aside from the emotional aspects of it, it was a wonderfully relaxing week as-well. The family I was with is a wonderful one, who made me feel very welcome, and a part of the unit. We spent day after day on the lake, and in the sun. In the evenings we played board games. There was so much laughter, so much... GOOD.

I don't think I've done much fantasizing about "my future family" in a while, but this vacation brought me very strongly back to that. I found myself again and again daydreaming so fondly of the day years from now that I will be able to take my own little family on a vacation like that. At one point I saw a little family in a canoe (a mom and a dad and 3 little children), and I just sat there staring, thinking - How fantastic!

On Vacation...

Tomorrow morning I am leaving town for 9 days, and will have no computer access. Unfortunately, that means no HNT next week, and no random updates of any kind until at least the 28th of August.

This trip is a little bitter-sweet for me. I will be staying at a cabin on the Shuswap, which is where my mom drowned 3 years ago. I'll even be there for the 3-year anniversary of her death. Am I crazy? Stupid? Masochistic? Maybe. I was invited there last year, but knew I wasn't ready. This year, I decided it's time to face the fear. I currently can't even drive past Shuswap/Sicamous/Salmon Arm without getting teary and short-of-breath. And now I'm spending 9 days there???

But I think I'll be okay. I'm a strong girl, and it may even be comforting to be there again. It seems scary, but it may feel good somehow - Like closure or something? I think I'll write her a letter while I'm out there and drop it in the lake for her.

But I'm also trying to think of this as a vacation. Because honestly I will spend the majority of the week sea-dooing, water skiing, reading in the sun... I do think I'll get some R & R out of it too. I hope so, anyway.

The above photo of The Shuswap was taken by my friend Josh Tidsbury, in October 2003.

Thanks to everyone (anyone?) who is reading my little blog, and stay tuned for more updates in late August.

Love and Hugs and Kisses,

Brandi / Blue / I'x

Colorful Watery Art

Some colorful watery art for you, on this fine Friday afternoon! A co-worker of mine sent this link to me, and I LOVE it. There are quite a few of these shots, whith a variety of colors and patterns, etc. I highly recommend checking it out. Find it on my 'links' list, as 'Water Figures'. Woo!

Link Added - Neverending White Lights

A friend of mine recently burned me a Mix CD, which included 3 or 4 songs by Neverending White Lights, and now I'm in love. I fall deeply and madly in love with music from time to time - It's not a bad thing. Y'know how sometimes you hear music that makes you want to dance or cry or create or something? This music is like that. I only have the songs "Liar", "This Longing", "I Hope Your Heart Runs Empty", "The Grace". But they all make me want to dance/cry/create and I can't WAIT to get the whole album. I will be spending 7 hours in my car on Saturday, so I'll probably pick it up before I leave... Anyhow, just give it a listen... The website itself is pretty impressive too, so I recommend a look around. Yup. Hooray for amazing music!

Excited New-Job Rambling

This morning I started the transition from my current job, to my new position as Pipeline Technical and Regulatory Advisor. Oooh la la, how fancy does THAT sound? I must admit - I'm excited to order business cards.

The guy I'm switching jobs with says that my new manager is the best boss he's ever worked for. He admits that he's worked for some terrible people, but says that Allan is a REALLY fantastic supervisor. So - Hooray!!! I got a good vibe off of him when I was talking to him too - He even told me I'd fit right in if I have cats. Teehee.

So, basically it's like this: The job I've been doing for the past 4 years (I can't believe it's been that long!) is 10% administrative, and 90% technical (regulatory). The regulatory stuff I've been doing was Sandra's responsibility, I was just helping to lighten her workload, basically. But Sandra also had engineering duties.

So now Sandra has moved to Houston, and her engineering stuff went to one of the engineers in our group, and this guy Ryan is taking over her regulatory stuff. But since he won't have the engineering bits as well, he'll have the time to do all the stuff I was doing for Sandra as well.

So that frees me up to take over his position as Pipeline Technical and Regulatory Advisor. Woo!

So, since we're kinda switching jobs, it'll be easy to have a nice wide transition period. Infact the plan is to stretch it out over the entire month of September. By the end of September we'll be completely in our new positions, but it'll still be easy enough to consult eachother if we run into problems. Woo! And even though I wasn't involved in EVERYTHING Sandra did, I still have a pretty good understanding of it all, just from working around her for so long. And I know the regulations pretty well in that area.

So, I get that this is like - The most boring post ever, but I was excited and wanted to ramble. And what else is a blog for, if not excited rambling? I mean, REALLY.

And this afternoon I'm meeting with the IT guy that I'll be working really closely with in my new position. Here's the fun part - We used to work on the same floor, and I had a HUGE crush on him. Like, to the point that I got nervous around him and didn't know what to say or where to look. Teeheehee. I haven't seen him in a couple of years, so it'll be interesting to see if I still get the flutterings in my tummy when I see him. I'm sure I'll be fine - Realistically, he's too old for me.

Oooh, and though I didn't ask about money, Ryan said something about it likely being a pretty sweet raise. So - Yeeeeeeehaw! My God, is there a future for me yet, in this here industry?

I've gotta learn all new regulations, but that shouldn't be too difficult. I've printed off the guidelines I'll need to know, and I'll just carry them around with me and read them whenever I can, until I know them all. That's how I learned the last ones.

I'm switching offices - Switching floors. The office is pretty-much the same as my current one. A door, but no windows. Which is fine, I'd probably spend all day distracted by the weather if I had a window.

Hm... So, blogs with no pictures are boring, so lucky you - you get a picture of my office building. Woo!

Link Added - Bif Naked

I decided to add Bif Naked's official site to my link list as well, because I adore me some Biffy. Check it out for some good music, good photos, etc.
:)

The Most Beautiful Rose

I have to admit, I have a serious crush on this girl. And it's different from my Angelina obsession, because with Angelina a huge part of it is her personality and way of life. However, I know almost nothing about Rose McGowan, so I can't really claim that my attraction to her is based on anything but the physical.

These are not the best photos of her, but I love the idea of each one - And I didn't want to post the usual cleavage-shots. I also think the bubble photo could have been done better - The pants don't really seem to fit her, and I think they should have gotten rid of (or at least obscurred or something) the big round reflection in the bubble. That reflection highlights the fact that it's a stage, and I doubt that's the look they were going for... But whatever.

I was looking for a good website devoted to her, but found none. This surprises me, honestly. She's gorgeous (of course), and though I know very little about her, the bits I do know intrigue me to no end. I know that she was engaged to Marilyn Manson for quite some time, and I know that she and her family were part of a cult when she was growing up in Italy. And although I know nothing about her personal beliefs, I do know that she tends to take a lot of roles with a bit of an 'occult' twist to them. I've only heard her speak in interviews a few times, but she always impresses me.

I saw an article today about how "fat" women are finally popular in Hollywood again. The thing that really pissed me off about it, was that their list of fat women included people like Rose McGowan and Kristen Davis (Charlotte from Sex in the City). Grrrr... I think it would have pissed me off less if they spoke of "curvy" women or something. But these women are nothing like fat. Nothing. But it got me thinking about Rose (and Kate Winslet, and Christina Ricci, and other perfect curvy women), and decided to ramble about her for a bit. So there.

My Links

Okay, so - I am going to explain my links list, and why each link is there. In alphabetical order, they are:

Angelina Jolie - This one takes you to Soulie Jolie, which in my opinion is the best Angelina Jolie site out there, and has been for some time. There is news, photos, information about her UNHCR work, etc. And it's all really beautifully put together - Created by Soulie Baby, who is one talented girl.

Burning Man - This is the official Burning Man website, so if you are interested in reading all about that crazy thing in the desert, this is the place to do it. They also have a fantastic image gallery, where you can find some really bizzare and interesting stuff. I highly recommend wandering around in this gallery sometime!

Evanescence - The official site. Very beautifully done - I adore the sense of style behind it. Everytime they add something new, I'm ridiculously impressed. And currently, they've got the cover-art for their upcoming album, "The Open Door". And again, I am so moved by it.

Howard Schatz - Howard Schatz is probably my favorite professional photographer, and this is his website. He has some amazing stuff, if you're interested. He does amazing things with the human body, and be sure to check out his underwater stuff, which is my personal favorite.

Josh's Blog - Josh is one of my closest friends, and this is his blog. He's usually pretty good about updating it regularly, and his photos are always FANTASTIC.

Katherine's Blog - Katherine is also a good friend of mine, and this is her blog. Started out based on her travels to Thailand and Australia, but she's home now, and took a break from it for a while, but she seems to be back blogging again!

Moco Loco - This site is updated daily, and always has the most insane, wonderful designs. Mostly home decor and architecture, but I recommend anyone just go check it out, at least once.

Moco Loco Art - This site is updated pretty often too, and it's a collection of art from all over the world. There is some pretty fantastic stuff up here, and the variety keeps it really interesting too. Everything from really classic-style paintings, to really creative photos, to really bizarre sculptures.

My Space - This should be a link to my My Space account, but I can't seem to get it to work yet... Stay tuned.

Our Lady Peace - They have a few sites, but this link takes you to a page where you can chose which one you want to visit. They're all pretty interesting, but probably moreso if you're an OLP fan.

Post Secret - This is a fantastic project. People make postcards detailing their deepest darkest secrets, and mail them anonymously to Post Secret, and they then get posted online. It gets update once a week (every Sunday), and it is the first site I tend to check on Monday morning. It sends chills up and down my spine - Quite the thing.

Soda Play - This is a bizarre little thing. And kinda hard to explain. But you can make little mechanical creatures, here. You put it together out of dots and lines, and you can control how bendy/springy each bit is, and you can adjust gravity, friction, all that - And there are some AMAZING creatures here that you can look at, and play with (and destroy, if you want...). Hard to explain, but check it out...

Okay, so that's my current list of links, and I'm sure it'll get bigger - I'll explain each additional link when I add it. Woo!

Metaphor

When I was about 16, I wrote a piece called 'Metaphor'. It was not much of a story, more like just a scene or maybe a poem or something. I added to it, bit-by-bit, over probably about 6 months. It was about a girl walking on the edge of a cliff by the ocean. She had long dark hair, a dirty white dress, and bare feet. It was a little melodramatic (16-year-old writing tends to be), but I still like the general idea of it. She symbolized me, and her journey was my life. Sometimes the rocks cut into her feet, and she thought she would fall. The wind symbolized authority - parents, teachers, society - Anyone who demanded anything of me was the wind. Of course when you're a teenager, you think that everyone wants you to fail. It wasn't entirely dark and depressive though. There was a big black bird with spikey feathers and blue eyes who came to play with her. He flew along with her, kept her company. He symbolized my boyfriend at the time. Also, there was the sun. The sun was my best friend, and she was my biggest comfort. The sun was warming and comforting and necessary for her survival. When my best friend went through tough times or withdrew into herself, the sun dimmed and the girl in the white dress got colder, and weaker.

Aaaaaanyhow, a few months ago I stumbled across a series of pictures of Amy Lee which remind me SO MUCH of my "metaphor". The setting, her costume, all of it. So of course these pictures have sentimental value to me, but I think they're quite beautiful regardless. I think Amy Lee is amazingly gorgeous (What? Me? Attracted to a woman with long dark hair? No WAY.), and her personal style tickles me too.

Flowing Beauty

This is one of my all-time favorite photos. I ADORE photos of women underwater, and this is one of my favorites. This has been on my desktop more than any other photo. You may or may not recognize her, but it's Kate Winslet. I generally prefer her with dark hair, but I think the lighter hair-color works really well here. I love the dress she's wearing, and the line of her left leg. The swirl of her hair, and the spread of her left hand... That is beauty.

If you like this photo, I encourage you to check out some stuff by Howard Schatz (see my links list for his official site). He also photographs flowers and athletes and nudes in 'knots', but I love his underwater work best of all. And if ever you get your hands on a copy of his book "Pool of Light", I will sell my soul to you for it.

Perfection in Nature

Are orchids not the most amazing, perfect flowers in the world? There's something so exotic about them, even erotic. I don't even know if it's the shape, the lines, the colors, or something in its aura - But orchids make me weak in the knees - Even photos of them do. Who says nature is imperfect?

My First Blog EVER???

How can this be my first blog ever? But it is. I don't reeeeeally know what shape this blog will take, or if it'll stay put here, but it's a start... For now I don't have much to say except that it's a beautiful rainy day out (I know most people would classify today as "ugly and rainy", but I disagree), and I look forward to getting out of my office tonight, to get back out into it. Breathe in the air, touch the rain. I hope the spectacular thunder and lightning from the last couple of evenings comes back too! Okay, that's all, for my first post. It'll get more interesting at some point, I assume.