Update

Blue on the Playa, originally uploaded by Blue I'x.

First-off, good news about my friend (from my last post)... I visited him in the hospital on Sunday, and he was up and talking and joking and seeming like himself. He looked pretty bruised and battered, but apparently he's healing at an amazing rate. Because of the head injury, he's still not completely 'out of the woods', but apparently if he survives the week after the injury, chances are he'll survive overall - and it'll be a week since the accident in about 3 hours. Yaaaaay!!!

Other bits:
Still haven't updated our travel blog about our latest adventure... We've been home for about 10 days, but somehow our heads are still kinda swimming. Busy busy with real life, but at the same time wishing with all our might that we could avoid it.

So not wanting to face life, but knowing we have to, we are trying to focus on getting things done. Trying to eat better, cook at home more often, buy more food from the farmer's market than the grocery store. Clean house, organize. Fix stuff and deal with stuff before the snow flies.

I am gaining weight like crazy, so also attempting to get that under control - went back to the gym today for the first time in a while. Signed up to get a personal trainer today. Part of the reason I have trouble sticking to a fitness program is that I get frustrated when I can't see results, and don't know if I'm going about it the right way. If I could get help getting started, maybe I can carry it on myself. I just want to make physical activity a habit. I've been there before, where I craved it. I just need help getting back to it.

My main goal with this is health. When my physical health is good, my emotional health is good. It makes a huge difference in my life to be fit and feel good.

At some point in my life I would like to run a 5k race. I know it's silly and little, but it is something so contrary to part of me that holds me back sometimes... I don't know how to make this make sense. Maybe it's as simple as proving to myself that I can do something that for years I never would have believed I could have...

As well, my little sister recently asked me to join her in some bikram yoga classes... I told her I need to be in better shape before getting back to yoga at all, never mind bikram. She suggested we pick a date in the future to attend a class together, that that's how long I have to prepare for it, however I've gotta do it. We didn't agree on a date... But I may still...

Thirdly, Brian and I are going to Jamaica in February, and it sure would be nice to feel good in a bathing suit again.

But, as I said before - health is number one. I want to feel good, and I don't right now. I hurt all over. Lots of headaches lately, my tummy is always upset, and so many stupid little aches and pains all over. I feel like such a whiner, because I know everything I feel is a result of decisions I've made for myself - things I should or shouldn't have eaten, etc. And activity. I know I need it - but it's just so hard when I feel so bleh. Never-ending cycle, ya know?

But I'm taking steps to reverse it. Gym today, and again tomorrow - One at a time, it's all ya can do, right?

Moments When the World Stops

My dad just called to tell me that a very close family friend was riding a skateboard behind a car at 2am on Friday morning, and had an accident. His injuries are life-threatening. Possible brain damage. It's too early to even know if he'll survive. I've watched this kid grow up. I literally have known him since he was born. My God I hope he pulls through this. I can't imagine what it would do to his family, and really anyone who knew him. Such a sweetheart. I don't even know what to say yet. My dad will be informed if he's not going to make it, so he can go say his goodbyes, so he is sitting around hoping he doesn't get a phonecall. He promised to let me know if anything changes, and so now I too, am sitting around willing my phone not to ring... Unless it's to say he's going to be fine. Ugh, you are one great tough little kid, You. Please please pull through this.