Samhain...

Hello lovelies. Today is Samhain (pronounced sow-ANE). A lot of people just lump it in with Halloween - which does make sense, but technically speaking, Halloween falls according to the Gregorian calendar, and Samhain occurs according to the sky. And according to the sky, today is the day. The veil between the worlds is at its thinnest. Actually, it was this morning at 6:22 (my time).

Like any other Sabbat, I like to acknowledge it. I'll light some candles tonight (as if I don't light candles every night...), and talk to the moon a little bit.

To some people, Samhain is the new year - but I have trouble making that stick in my mind. It just doesn't FEEL like the end/beginning of the year.

I wore black today - my clothes are heavy, yet flowy at the same time. Perfectly Samhainesque.

Today is also the birthday of an old friend of mine. Dave Granger turns 26 today, and I hope he's having a wonderful birthday, wherever he is. We dated for a while in 2002, before he moved to Australia. We've spoken here and there since he got back, but never kept in touch. But somehow I still know his birthday - And I hope he's having a good one.

Also along the lines of old friends, I was contacted today by one. She and I used to be really close, but we fell away from eachother a few years ago. She moved to Europe to attend circus school (seriously), and I haven't heard from her in years. But she called today - she's in town. I'm slightly surprised by my reaction. I would like to return her call, and meet with her over a coffee or something. I felt really manipulated by her in the past, but part of me apparently still cares about her, and wouldn't mind catching-up for old-times' sake.

Actually, I was contacted by another old friend last week. This one was a girl I met at a bachelorette party 4 or 5 years ago. We were both drunk out of our minds at Outlaws, and flirting shamelessly with one-another. We decided we liked eachother, and exchanged phone numbers. We started hanging out after that, but we had different ideas about the whole situation. I really just liked hanging out with her, and thought of her as a new friend. But she saw me as a new bisexual friend - which (I've found) often implies that the friendship comes with a side of free sex. I tried to get the point across that I didn't want sex from her, but she just kept thinking we were about to get it on. We lost contact for like a year and a half, and then when we started talking again, she was obsessed with getting me to come join her and her boyfriend in bed. I didn't feel comfortable with that - so the contact went away again. We e-mail and/or phone eachother about once or twice a year, and I always cut it off again once it becomes clear that she still just wants to fuck.

Last week she sent me an e-mail saying that she "really really needs to talk to me". She's never had a NEED to talk to me before - So part of me thinks maybe it's important. But maybe she just used that wording so that I would call her, and she'd pick up and be like "Oh thank goodness you called - My boyfriend and I have been waiting for you to join us..."

*sigh* Not interested. I mean, she's a beautiful girl and all, but... I'm just way more straight than not. Every once in a while I try sleeping with women again, but it's rarely any good. I certainly find women in general to be beautiful creatures, but to actually get it on with someone, I'd prefer they had a penis.

Not to mention, she seems to want me to agree to this whole thing, before I ever even meet her boyfriend. Seriously - As if I would agree to have sex with someone I've never seen or met. What kind of a whore does that? Whatever.

Also, she used to know my roommate - so part of me wants to call her up just to tell her I'm living with an old friend of hers. I have no idea if she'd find that interesting or not. I don't think they were ever really close, but they knew eachother.

And then when I sit here contemplating calling up old friends I haven't seen in years, I think - waitaminute... Shouldn't I maybe call some of the people I'm still in contact with? I know they'd like to hear from me...

They will. I swear. I'll try.