Tuesday, December 19, 2006


Isn't this a fantastic image? I love the structure, the colors, all of it is just - gorgeous.

I've been having bizarre, vivid dreams lately. That doesn't surprise me, as there is a lot going on in my life right now.

On Friday night, I dreamt that I was in my car with someone - I don't know who. We were stopped behind a black SUV at a red light, and it was dark out. Suddenly this guy walks along from behind my car, pulls out a gun, and kills 4 men in the SUV in front of me. When I saw what was happening, I tried to sink down in my car, so not to draw attention. I was trying to curl up as low under the dash as I could, but he saw me anyway. He fired two shots into my car, I think hoping to hit each of us, but both bullets hit me. I got one in the cheek, and one in the abdomen. After that part, I don't really remember much except that I kept asking for someone to help me, and everyone was like "Whatever. People get shot. It happens. Get over it."

On Saturday night, I dreamt that I was out partying, and met Britney Spears. We started talking, and I found her to be really nice, and a lot of fun. I was really blown away by what a sweetheart she was, and found it really sad that she gets so torn apart by the tabloids. But then the next day, I realized that I had something of hers - It was this little cellphone/music player kinda thing. I knew there were personal details in it, so I wanted to get it back to her as soon as possible. It was really hard to find her, and when I finally did find her, she was a total bitch to me. She was so angry at me for "stealing" this thing from her, but she had left it behind. She screamed and swore at me about all of "us" being the same, out to get her - out to attack. I tried to explain to her that I had NO desire to attack her - I told her it's just not in me. I don't set out to hurt people. But she was convinced that I'd sold all her personal details to the tabloids.

On Sunday night, I don't really remember anything but crowds of people in cages.

Last night I remember dreaming about Tarah. I think Brianne may have been there too, but I'm not sure. I said something that made Tarah laugh, and I got so excited - thinking that if she could laugh at a joke of mine, maybe she would be able to treat me like a fellow human being. I don't know what happened in the dream, but I know by the end of it I was in tears over something she'd done or said, and I was so upset about not being allowed to get away from her.

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Updates from me:

- Still working like crazy, but I finally feel like it's paying off.
- Love my new job, department, boss, all of it. I am so so happy to be where I am right now in terms of my career.
- Got informed of my raise and bonus on Friday, and my new boss has come through for me like my old one never bothered to. I won't talk about dollar amounts, because I know it's taboo or something - But I can talk in percentages, right? Well, I've had a few raises this year, but between January '06 and January '07, my salary has been upped by 27%. And my bonus? 20% of my current salary. See what I mean when I say I am finally feeling appreciated? Now if only this stuff would kick-in BEFORE Christmas, it would help a lot...
- Met a man at my friend Katherine's Christmas party, and have been spending some time with him - getting to know him, and enjoying the process intently.
- I'm intensely stressed-out about Christmas. Partly because of all the random Goddamn shopping I have to do, regardless of whether I can afford it or not. And partly because I have to see Tarah 3 fucking days in a row.

Okay, I think that's it for now. I'll probably come back and leave a farewell-for-the-holidays post tomorrow, because I'm off work at noon, and don't have to come back until January 2. Woo!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

you've got some wacked out dreams, girl! i don't know how you got shot twice and didn't wake up right away. high pain tolerance?? and that dream of yours about Britney Spears - exactly how'd i'd imagine her to be too.. i don't know why. just is.