Good Weekend - Updates!

Not much time, but wanted to give some random and REALLY out-of-order updates...

Wiiiiii - Okay, the Wii is lots of fun. I'm not much into video games at all, but I have to admit I could waste hours on this one. Of the Wii Sports games, I like bowling the most, but tennis and baseball are fun too. The golf and the boxing I have to admit I haven't tried yet, but I probably will at some point. Brian also got a game called Rayman, which is totally twisted and bizarre, but FUN. Anyway, yeah. Much fun to be had there.

Bought some kitchen chairs this weekend, which is exciting. Haven't bought the table yet, but I will in the next month or so (hopefully after my next paycheck, but I may have to wait a couple weeks to comfortably afford it). These chairs were returned assembled, so they were marked down to $50, from their regular price of $75. There were actually 5 like that, but I only bought 4 because one of them was visibly damaged. I might buy another couple of them at regular price, but I might not, either. I think for the size of the table, 4 is enough for now. One side of the table will be against my kitchen window, so one on each end and two on the close side is plenty.

I also got some new clothes, which is REALLY exciting, because I haven't bought new clothes for myself in I-don't-know-how-long. I got myself some basics to start with. 3 pairs of pants: Jeans, black dress pants, and khakis. Then I got a dark purple tanktop/cami-thing, and a pink one, with some girly lace on the edges. A long-sleeved black shirt, a button-up brown one, and a brown t-shirt, and a shrug. You may ask what a shrug is (I did):

This is a shrug. This is the very one I bought, infact. I was always under the impression that I should not wear such things (short sweaters/jackets), because I need no extra emphasis on my chest. However, I was convinced to try it on anyway - and discovered that I look DAMN good in it, if I do say so myself. It accentuates ALL the right curves. Makes my waist/stomach look TINY. Seriously - I can't take it off. Wore it to work today, and everyone I see is like "you look REALLY good today". It probably also has to do with the fact that suddenly I'm wearing clothes that fit... On the same note, my other happy news: In terms of pants, apparently I'm now a size 8. I am THRILLED with this, because I've been a 12 pretty much all my adult life. I've had moments at 14 and moments at 10, but I've NEVER been an 8. Until now. And I can barely contain my excitement. I even managed to get into a size 6 pair of jeans and do them up and everything - But I couldn't move my legs. That's not the point though. For a shining moment in time, I was wearing a pair of size 6 jeans. Holy crap. I would have bet serious money I could never say that.

Once again, I was totally amazed by the wonder that is Brian. He wandered around the mall with me for almost 5 hours, while I shopped for clothes. I thought men were supposed to whine and complain and sigh and roll their eyes and say their feet hurt, and... He didn't. Not even the tiniest shred. After about the third store, I was like, "Are you okay? Are you bored? Tired? Frustrated?" and he was like "Let's go in here - I bet they have some good stuff for you here." And every time I opened the dressing room door, he was sitting there, smiling - giving me his honest opinions (which are really good - the boy has style). It was amaaaaaazing.

Brian's friend Cara came over on Saturday and hung out with us, which was a lot of fun. Cara's amazing, and is welcome to hang out with us any time. We played with the Wii and Brian made us Chambord Martinis, and played with his camera, and... Much fun was had.

We also had supper with his friend Trevor one night, which was awesome. I'd spoken to him on the phone quite a few times, so it was nice to finally meet him face-to-face. He lives in Edmonton, but he was in town briefly for work.

Also saw Pan's Labyrinth on Friday night. It had its pros and cons, I'll admit. On one hand it was amazingly beautiful and artsy. On the other hand, it was REALLY violent and - well - stressful. I thought it was WAY more graphic than it had to be. I don't remember the last time I had to hide my eyes during a movie, but I had to at SEVERAL points in this movie. And I could tell from the audience's reaction that I did well to look away. We were there with a large group, and some people LOVED it, and some people HATED it. And some people loved it AND hated it.

We also went on a walk at some point, and got some housework done too... I must say, It was a really good weekend. Woo!

And work is - stressful. I'm terrified about my presentation, haven't really gotten far on writing it, and I'm supposed to be GIVING it a week from tomorrow. Aaaaauuuugh!!! Breathe. Okay. In, out. Aaaah.

Alright, back to work for a bitty-bit, then hometime. Yay!

Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!

Guess who got a Wiiiiii? No, not me. But close. Brian. Woo!

No, it's not really blue - I don't think there ARE blue ones. But apparently I'm not the only one out there who fantasizes about everything in blue.

Not since my Super Nintendo waaaaaay back in the day, have I been excited about a videogame console. But it's hard not to be excited about the Wii. Because EVERYONE is excited about the Wii.

Like spring 2004 - When EVERY Calgarian suddenly became a hard-core hockey fan. I had never previously cared about hockey in the least, but the team-spirit was contagious. It was fun just to be a part of this electric, city-wide, enthusiasm.

The Wii is kinda like that. It's exciting to be a part of the excitement. Ya know? I also know how much Brian's been wanting one, and I love to see him so thrilled.

So I know what wii (haha) are doing this weekend. :) See what all this fuss is about once and for all!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Other updates:

- Work is good. Really good. I'm taking on far more responsibility than I expected to, but I'm honored that I'm being trusted with it.

- Got put in charge of another task that I have no training on, which I'm self-teaching by the moment. It's scary, but I'm doing alright with it - and it's impressive to my boss, so that's cool. He tells me our VP has almost no school training - is entirely self-taught, and one of the most knowledgable guys out there. Sweet. So I could be VP by 30? Okay - no. I don't even WANT to be VP. My boss's wife is VP of her company, and I get the distinct impression that their children raise themselves. My children (yes, the ones that don't exist yet) will not raise themselves. My future husband and I will raise them. Period. Aaaaand due to past experiences with lazy men, I'm not sure I could even do the whole you-raise-the-kids-while-I-go-to-work thing. But I suppose I'll cross that bridge when I come to it...

- I have to make a 30-minute presentation at a conference in Canmore in February, and I'm terrified. Brian says he'll help me with it. Being a consultant, he's got experience in giving presentations, etc. Problem is, stage fright has always been a VERY huge issue for me. But at the same time - I know that all I can do is be as brave as I can, and just do it and make my way through one moment at a time. I just hope I don't throw-up or pass-out or come-across-as-not-knowing-my-shit or pee-my-pants or trip-over-my-own-feet or... Oh, the possibilities are endless. But I know all I can do is just do it. And next time it'll be easier. Probably.

- I'm ridiculously busy outside of work too. I've been trying to find time to buy clothes that fit for like a month now, and I STILL haven't. I also need to get myself my own computer at home. Again, no time. But it's okay. Stuff is getting done, and I'm feeling good.

Alright - Now it's one, and for the past hour I've been alternating between typing this, and working. So now that I SHOULD be working, I have to go buy some lunch. I hope they have a yummy wrap for me at the store downstairs. Cross your fingers for me!!!

Not Totally Surprising...

You Are Rain

You can be warm and sexy. Or cold and unwelcoming.Either way, you slowly bring out the beauty around you. You are best known for: your touch Your dominant state: changing

What Type of Weather Are You?

El Perro En La Niebla

I am so so so proud of my Brian... The image above is one of his photos, published as a book cover. He just recieved a couple copies of it in the mail the other day. It's in Spanish, so we don't really know what it's about - but does it really matter? I'm so so proud of him, I can't even convey it. Considering he only really started to get into photography about a year ago, I think it's safe to say he's got some amazing natural talent.

We went to see a movie on Friday night, called Children of Men. It was amazing. One of the best movies I've seen in years, and absolutely in my top-ten favorites of all-time. It is not what you'd expect, but better. I don't even know what to say about it, because there's SO MUCH I loved about it. I would recommend this movie to anyone and everyone. Even if you don't catch it in theatres, I would suggest you rent it sometime. It is so striking, so moving, so well done.

Hm... I should be working now (yes, I know it's Sunday - but somehow I'm at work anyway) - I just wanted to post an itty-bit.

Evanescence Concert, Etc...

I can't spend long on this, because I need to be working. But I've been working like mad all day, and deserve a tiny break - so here it is.

I wanted to post a quick blurb about the Evanescence concert I attended last night, with my friend Michelle. It was incredible! I have been wanting to see Evanescence live for YEARS, and this is the first time they've come to Calgary. It was amazing. Stupendous, even.

The opening acts were okay - Not much of an impression one way or the other of The Black Maria, but they played a short set.

Next was Stone Sour - They weren't terrible, but they're not really my cup of tea. Y'know their song 'Bother'? Yeah, it's a good song. Very enjoyable. Pretty much everything else of theirs was screaming and head-banging.

Evanescence rocked my socks. Amy Lee was beautiful and expressive. She puts so much into her music, it makes me want to cry. Her whole body seems like a part of her voice. Every motion, every glance. She seems to BE her music. Amazing. Stunning, beautiful, inspiring.

Michelle and I felt like we stuck out a little, considering we weren't wearing ridiculous amounts of black or purple make-up, or corsets or striped stockings up to our knees. Our hair wasn't spiked or dyed black, we didn't carry anything with a skull pattern... As we were waiting in line to be searched (all these dark, scared, teens must be carrying weapons, you know - wearing black makes you violent), a security guard came along and asked all us ladies to open our purses. They started the purse-search at the girls behind us. We figured we didn't look young or threatening enough - But what about our knitting needles and rolling pins? They could be dangerous... Jeeze.

It was also really nice hanging out with Michelle again. We used to spend TONS of time together, but life got crazy for us both around the same time, and we had to tend to other things. I'm so glad we have been back in contact again - I missed her a lot.

Other stuff:
- Work's good. Busy. It's fun having an assistant, but I only get her until the end of February. She's a brand new engineer, so she has bigger better things to do than to assist me. Sad, but true.
- Brian and I are - ridiculous. Delirious. Fantabulous. I'll try not to make you all sick with mushiness - But we are happy and amazing.
- I've been focusing some attention back on my house, after letting it slide for longer than I really should have. It feels good to be taking pride in it and feeling proud of it again.
- It hasn't really been a big thing in my mind, but I suppose a few of you out there will be happy to know that I haven't been smoking pot for a while now. It feels good. It wasn't really a conscious decision either - just kinda happened. But of course it's a good thing. Perhaps that's why I was able to do 3 consecutive sun-salutations on my first crack at yoga in 5 months. Hm...
- I've become too small for all my clothes - Even my 'skinny' clothes are big on me now. I have to wear belts, and they look like draw-strings. I've been meaning to buy some clothes that fit, but things have been so busy I haven't had a chance. Hopefully this weekend, though. It'll be nice to have clothes that fit again. Weirdest thing ever: Brian thinks I have boy-hips. I've always known I had HUGE hips. But when he puts me in front of a mirror in my panties, I have to agree. I have little hips. What the Hell? I've only lost about 30 pounds, but my body seems so different than before. It's amazing. It feels good. Brian took a photo of me recently that I really like (doesn't really showcase my bizarre skinny body, but I love it and feel sexy in it) - I might post it on here at some point, but it contains no blue. Not sure what to do about that, but we'll see...

Okay, enough. I've been going away and coming back to this post all day - typing madly in little snippets of 45 seconds at a time. If it seems disjointed, that's most certainly why.

Ooooouuuch...

Doesn't this little girl make you want to cry? I think she fell off her bike. I want to give her ice cream and distract her with something exciting and fun.

Aaaanywho, this post is not about her. It is about me. This is my blog - so it's always about me.

Yesterday, I attended my first yoga class in a loooooong time. September maybe? Whenever it was that I last posted about yoga. Yes, the one where I swore I'd stick with it this time around. Well, Brian does yoga, and somehow that makes me want to do it more too. So I actually think I might keep it up for real this time. It's nice having such a positive motivator around.

Aaaanywho, as expected, I'm unbelievably stiff from that class yesterday - practically every muscle in my body complained loudly, almost immediately following the class. Our instructor was a little hard-core yesterday.

But, as I said back in September-ish, it's the good kind of pain. I don't mind it at all. However.

As I was going downstairs last night to do a load of laundry, I slipped and landed hard on my back - on unforgiving wooden stairs. Immediately the most painful spot was my spine, about mid-back - Where I landed the hardest. My right wrist/heel of my hand was the second most painful. As the night went on, my left elbow started to develop bruising too. This morning I can also feel my tailbone, my other elbow, and my neck hurts like whiplash.

I was wearing a knit sweater, so my injuries are even patterned! At least they're pretty... :)

So Brian wrapped me up in blankets, with assorted frozen foods - cranberries on my back, mangoes on my wrist - and put me in front of the television while he did my laundry, and a few other assorted chores, occaisionally breaking to feed me oreo cookies and check in on the various sore spots.

I feel a little guilty, because Brian and I are trying to get A LOT of stuff done and out-of-the-way as quickly as possible, and I just cut our physical labor force in half. Bah.

I mean, today I'm walking around like a normal person at least. But I'm still a little nervous. Later last night after we finished at my place and went back to his house, I tripped and almost fell AGAIN on his porch steps leading up to his house, and then less than 10 minutes later tripped over his laptop bag. I think the smartest thing I did last night was when I went to bed. But part of me wondered if I should wear a helmet to bed anyway. I had visions of jet engines landing on me in the night...

I haven't tripped over anything yet today, though. So that's good. Lets hope that holds.

I think yesterday's klutziness was a result of a few things. One, obviously the stiffness from my yoga class. It's not the first time I've injured myself after my first yoga class in a while. Also, I'm exhausted this week. Brian and I both are. We have so much to do, it's ridiculous. We're trying so hard to get all this stuff done, so that we can have some free time again, to do something fun. Or even to be able to relax and do nothing, without thinking "We should be doing something constructive right now...". So of course since we're trying to get everything done all at once, we've been staying up far too late at night, trying to fit more hours in the day. Plus all the emotional everything lately has me exhausted too. And when I'm exhausted, I can be a klutz. I doubt that surprises anyone who knows me.

So, my guess is that the giant bruise in the middle of my spine means I won't be back at yoga next week. But I'm hoping for the following week...

Plans for this weekend? Catch up on sleep. It seems the exhaustion is getting dangerous.

Brian

This weekend was a very scary one for me, in good ways and bad ways. There was a very dark occurence, which scared and saddened me. I can't go into details on it, because they're not my details to share. But I was in a very emotionally difficult place - guilt, fear, anger, disbelief.

I don't know what I would have done without Brian this weekend. I don't know how he did it, but he made me feel safe enough and strong enough to deal with what I had to.

On Saturday night, I had a Ukranian Christmas Dinner to go to at Katherine's place. I wasn't sure I should go. I wasn't sure I could hold off tears for long enough, and my tendency in times of stress is to hide. I discussed it with Brian, and we decided I should go. I'm really glad I did - because it did get my mind off things a little bit, and it felt really good to talk to Katherine. Besides, the dinner was amazing as usual too - I look forward to that meal all year!!!

After dinner at Katherine's, I went over to Brian's. I knocked on his door, and he didn't answer. I knocked again, and still no answer. So I let myself in. His place was dark, except for candles at the top of the stairs, and in the bathroom. I followed the warm, flickering candlelight - and found Brian waiting for me in his 6-foot bathtub, with a big glass of Shiraz.

My heart stopped. My eyes teared up. My legs almost gave-out. I wondered if I was dreaming - or in a movie. How is it possible that this man can be so amazing? I climbed in with him, and he held me, and made me feel safe and calm.

It scares me, how good he makes me feel. How much I crave his smile. There's so much in his beautiful head that dazzles me. I want more and more of him, and every new bit of him I get, makes me love him so much more than I thought possible even moments before. The way he looks at me, the way he talks to me, the way he holds me, make me happily dizzy.

I've always found I sleep better alone - until now. Every time I wake up next to him I want to cry tears of joy. I've been having some nightmares lately, but the moment I wake up, every shred of fear is gone. How can I be afraid, when that beautiful man is here to protect me?

Yesterday morning, as we were lying in bed, trying to find the energy to get up and go to work, "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol came on the radio. I didn't really recognize it, but the lyrics struck me so strongly. We curled up together and held eachother so tightly, as every word gave me another goosebump.

We'll do it all
Everything
On our own

We don't need
Anything
Or anyone

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know
How to say
How I feel

Those three words
Are said too much
They're not enough

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time
Chasing cars
Around our heads

I need your grace
To remind me
To find my own

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told
Before we get too old
Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am
All that I ever was
Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where
Confused about how as well
Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here
If I just lay here
Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I am completely blown away by how my personal beliefs have done such a complete 180 in a month. Yesterday I re-read my post from December 5 - Content Today. At that point I was completely convinced that I didn't believe in love. Convinced I never wanted to open myself up to anyone. Convinced that there was no one in the world for me.

4 Days later, I met Brian. I think the universe saw that blog and decided to teach me a lesson. Time to teach this girl that love does exist. Happy, healthy, relationships are real. Who knew?

So Much Fun...

So, I went over to Brian's place last night after work. He asked me if I felt like theatre. I always feel like theatre. So, he tells me he got a couple of tickets for Five Hole: Tales of Hockey Erotica. I'd heard of it, and it sounded fantastic and bizarre - Which is soooo my cup of tea.

Strangely, these tickets came from his ex-wife. Granted, she tried to give them to other people first, but when that didn't work, apparently she literally said my name, as-in "maybe Brian and Brandi would want to go". He only JUST told her about me yesterday too - So I guess we were fresh in her mind, maybe. But still - odd. A date with Brian, made possible by his ex-wife? Hehe. Whatever - I'll take dates with Brian regardless of where they come from.

We were feeling a bit peckish, so we stopped at Milestones for some calamari and popcorn shrimp and merlot. Perhaps a strange dinner by some standards, but it was good - Got us what we needed.

The show was really good - Definitely bizarre, but really well done. I imagine certain parts of it would have meant more to people who know Canadian hockey really well, but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I mean, it was hockey and sex. I don't know much about hockey, but the sex was all in my language.

Wait, did that sound bad? Hm...

Since it was opening night, they had an "opening night party" afterwards - They served Hockey Gourmet - AKA beer and hotdogs. The show was in the Martha Cohen Theatre, but the party was upstairs - Big Secret Theatre, maybe? We enjoyed our beer and hotdogs, and chatted in the dark, illuminated by these intense red and blue lights. Tried to take a couple of cellphone photos of eachother all colorful, but cell cameras are never as good as the real thing.

After that, we went out into Olympic Plaza. I wanted to show Brian my brick (during the '88 Olympics, Calgarians were able to pay to have their names or their loved ones' names imprinted on the bricks in Olympic Plaza). My dad got them done for all three of us (my sisters and I). It was dark and snowy last night, so searching for my brick was difficult. We looked for a while, but couldn't find it. I did, however, find Josh's brick totally by accident. Found his brother's first, and thought "huh. Weird. I wonder if it's the same Zachary..." and then I looked over and saw Josh's and was like - "Okay, yeah - that's crazy."

Then we slid around on the ice rink for a bit - I thought I was going to fall, as I was wearing 3-inch heels, but he got me out there swinging and sliding around - it was so much fun.

When we got back to his place, 'we' hooked up the drain of the sink he installed last week - It was draining into a bucket until last night. He keeps saying I helped, but I really only found a misplaced washer, held a pipe while he sawed through it, and turned the tap on to check for leaks. Aaaand I made some little egg-spherey things out of his plumbers' putty. VERY helpful.

Then we washed some dishes, and then we curled up in bed with his laptop and looked at some photos and listened to some Beatles songs.

I really am so so happy right now. I have no idea how I was lucky enough to meet Brian - Maybe it was just time for me to experience a happy, healthy relationship finally. Eeek! Gushing. Bad Brandi. My apologies.

Back to work with me...

Oh Really...

Ahaha, okay so this is slightly different from the artwork I tend to post here. But that doesn't make it any less important. This painting struck me - I like art that speaks about current cultural happenings (in this case, celebrity worship) - and I think this piece gets it's point across. The women in Walmart, by the checkout - likely scanning the tabloids for the latest gossip on this woman who is viewed by so many to be 'above' the rest of us. Divine.

I, of course, fully agree that Angelina has some serious divinity in her, but in probably in a less literal sense. I think we're all divine - But some of us manage to tap into it and share it more widely. She's not more important than any one of us, she is just human as we all are, but she has the means to have a greater influence on the world than most of us do.

And yes, don't worry, I see the humor in it too.

I have so much running around in my head right now it's ridiculous. Problem is, a lot of it is not mine to share.

So instead, I'll talk about what I'm eating for lunch - Tortellini. Leftover from The Spaghetti Factory on Monday. Brian and his dad came to meet me for lunch, and it made my day. Even sitting here eating the leftovers, the taste of it reminds me of how happy that made me - How flattered I was. It was just so... nice. I dunno. I guess I'm not overly descriptive today. Because it was just so NICE.

:) And now I'm going to try to find something else to do. Just because. So there.

A Beautiful Project...

I was directed towards this site last spring sometime, fell madly in love with it, and then somehow forgot it existed. I just came across a little sticky note with the address on it, and went back - Fell back in love. Please please please PLEASE go take a look. Amazing beauty.

Hooray for 2007!!!

So, I know I said I would post another message before the holidays, but I didn't. So now I'm back, for a post-holidays update.

Isn't this a fantastic photo? It's another one of Brian's, and I absolutely adore it.

All-in-all, my holidays were really good. My family stuff wasn't too stressful - Tarah behaved about as well as can be expected, and there was really no serious conflict.

At Marilyn's annual Christmas Eve party, I finally got to meet Ruby and Madison, who are the very first of the next generation in our specific little group of families. Madison is about a year and a half old, has BRIGHT red hair in little spikey pig tails, and she is Katie's daugter. Katie is Chris's daughter, and Chris is Marilyn's best friend of 40 years. Got that? Good. Andrea is Katie's little sister, and Andrea had Ruby (in my arms, right) last June. July? Somewhere in there. It was SO exciting to have babies there. Marilyn's Christmas parties used to have dozens of children running around in party dresses, but now we're all grown up - And I'm glad that SOMEONE has finally decided to reproduce. As you can likely tell in this photo, babies make me happy (to put it lightly) - And considering I'm not quite at a 'baby-making' place in my life yet, I'm glad there are some other babies out there that I can hold and play with and get giddy over for now.

I got lots of interesting stuff for Christmas - including snowboarding passes, Evanescence concert tickets, a new suit for work, some new music (CD and piano sheet music), lots of great gift cards (coffee and books - what could be better?), and some amazing jewellery.

I also spent a lot of time with Brian, which was awesome. Some of you have heard me ramble on and on and on about him, some of you have not. But if you have not, it means we haven't spoken in the past few weeks. For those of you who don't know, I met Brian at Katherine's Christmas party. We both found some sparkles in eachother, and we've been spending time together since, and are only getting more and more intrigued by one-another. I know I've gone on more than one anti-relationship-rant on this blog (and other places), and Brian may just make me eat some of my words. But I suppose that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

We've only known eachother for a few weeks, but we seem to know eachother really well already. For Christmas he gave me a silver collar and moonstone pendant which is SO perfectly suited to me, I was struck practically speechless. I would NEVER have thought that a man could pick out a piece of jewellery so suited to me. I dunno, it's really bizarre - he listens. To, like, every little detail. Amazing and fantastic, I say!!!

:) I am seriously SO excited for 2007. All signs point to this year being a great one. I'm so happy to have met Brian, and look forward to all our little adventures to come. I'm thrilled with my job, and am feverishly excited to see how it develops. I turn 25 in February, which seems like a big exciting birthday in general - and my finances should be a lot better this year than the last few. I'm planning to go back to Burning Man this year, which of course is very close to my heart. I also hope to do some other travelling, but what/when/where is as-yet undetermined by far.

According to numerology, this year should be a great one for humanitarian and social causes. I won't bet money on it either way, but I can hope for it.

Alright, well it is time for me to focus back on my work. I hope everyone else out there is as happy and excited about life in general as I am.